I'm almost there.

I have a secret :) Well, i don't think this qualifies as a secretsecret per se.
I adore Disney, i grew up with Disney movies (and only Disney characters!), my wardrobe consists of mostly Disney. While growing up, it was practically all things Disney! I love Tigger (of the fame of the pooh named Winnie) I even collect Tigger in all sizes, :) Along with my sisters, we were affectionately known as the Disney kakis.
there, the secret is out! as if it was worth any penny, this secret of mine *grin*

Oh wait, that wasn't the secret. This is;
I would make it a point to learn the words of at least one song from each Disney movie. I still can sing them for you, if you absolutely make me, haha :p

As it is the coming of a new year; along with the recent Disney song which caught my penchant Almost There (from The Princess and the frog) they both fit perfectly :) This could be my new theme song, like seriously.

(parts of the lyrics of Almost There)
But i know exactly where I'm going (maybe not quite, but it'll be good if i did)
And getting closer, closer, every day (i know i am, irregardless of whether i want it or not)

And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People down here think I'm crazy, but I don't care (suck it, people :D)
Trials and tribulations have had my share
There ain't nothing gonna stop me now cause I'm almost there.

and with all that You're bringing me through, i know that this new year is going to bring me closer to where i need be! Thank You, for not giving up on me just yet =)

A Blessed New Year, with a refreshed mind :) I'm all set, Father. Have it Your way.

..have it your way.

Twenty five's the magic number.

I am truly and exceedingly anxious nervous about tomorrow! Seriously, i would like very much to start the new year with a little more certainty. It is going to be my 25th year in life, and 25 years is a long time (at least in my world of perception, it is). One can achieve great things by 25, one can do manymany things in 25 years! Turning twenty five, hey? *it is going to be magical* ..really?

I look back and ponder; wondering how this year went by just like that. As much as i love making lists, i am not in the habit of churning out new year's resolutions, what is the point of having one if i don't even come close to crossing them off by the end of each year? People tend to get excited about the whole new year; new resolutions dramadrama! Its all very pretty to begin the new year with a big bang, along with all these amazing ideas and must dos without taking realism into point here.
(i certainly do not want to sound like a cynical misanthrope, oppsie :p Just a point to note; i do not oppose of having new resolutions in general, just for myself i do =))

"What are your plans for next year?" I get that, alot.
I tell myself; its okay, they're just concerned for you.
but i'm sorry, i can't say and i can't tell you just yet; i whisper to myself
because this life; it's not mine to plan. never was, never will be.
I've learned it the hard way, and am not going to fall back into the old style me.
Its not that i do not have a direction in life, i do (sort of). Just that, i no longer have anything carved on stone. In fact, i no longer do any carving.
..Dreams, i have plenty. Plans, i have virtually none.

This may probably not be the healthiest way of living, but i think its best now for me to take a step at a time. See how things turn out and march along. With baby steps, falling won't be that painful would it?

It is terrifying to not know; but i am comforted to know that He is watching over me, every single step of the way :)

So hit me with the new year resolutions, this is what you most probably will get :)
"Start a Jane Austen book club; learn to make good wine; and maybe start a poker night with the boys (or girls)? Care to join me?"

Have a pleasant new year, world :)

have a great life, you :)

Blessed Christmas :)

*sings* Hang a shining star upon the highest bough. And have yourself a merry little Christmas now :)

I ♥ Christmas, alot! it is my second favorite day of the year (after a certain day in April) =)

This year however, had a slightly different kindda Christmas spirit build up. I wouldn't say it was a lousy month but it definitely was an intense month for me. :S December was beyond overwhelming, much. It was pretty insane, mainly mentally. Haha! (again, oblivious to the world)

I can't say i'm glad December is almost over; yet i can't sincerely rejoice the coming of a new year! Didn't they say; a new year marks a new beginning? still, i can't help but wonder if this is a new beginning i am prepared to embrace? *hmm* (without asking why?)

Well, its Christmas! So, in lights of the spirit of giving =) I'll like to extend the invitation of a virtual hug to (almost) everyone out there! (huggg) May your Christmas season be filled with joy and gladness. Let us give thanks and be grateful for what He has brought us through and is about to bring us :)

A toast! *cheerio* to the one and only ♥ Beyond Awesome Father =)

The end of the year marks a period of reflection, thanksgiving and forgiveness! Pause.LookBack.Reflect.SeekForgiveness.Forgive.
Then; together we will soldier on, my fellow comrades! Take heart, ♥

Vietnam was exciting :) I am grateful for family vacations, it certainly brought about merry and joy =) I certainly have amazing people in my life, and i have The Father to thank for that :)

(a preview of Vietnam, i just spend four hours posting pictures on Facebook! Haha. From the selection process to captioning (almost) all the cherished captured moments :p)

It was truly a beautiful day =) along with amazing people, it made it even better ;) ♥

i wonder when will i see you again.

Love them and hate them.

I am vain, i know that and most people know that :D

Jane Austen once wrote;
"Vanity and pride are two different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us."

That is why i love Jane Austen; not only does she come from the 18th Century England, she writes very prettily! :) She had a good mind, really. Wrote aesthetically, and i totally adore her command of the Queen's English.

When i start my Jane Austen book club, this shall be the one of the many discussion we'll be having. Care to join me, anyone?

"Is not general incivility the very essence of love?" Jane Austen.

I'd love to have my very own Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, who doesn't ehh? :)
Having said that, we must know that before our very own Mr. Darcy charms and sweeps our feet off the ground (to the land of happily ever after :p).
He must first arrogantly declare how insanely common we look to him. And we must then detest the very sight of him.
"She's tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me." He exclaimed of her.

Which reminds me of what mom used to warn me about; how sworn enemies who despise each other's gut and can barely tolerate the sight of the other ending up marrying (and living happily ever after, :p)

Ahh, perhaps i am on the right path to my very own Mr. Darcy :)
Go make more of them enemies? Haha.
Hate them and love them, ey?

..i'll surely miss you. be safe.

Don't you ever dare go anywhere.

in the spirit of Christmas ♥;
i share the joy of Calvin and Hobbes :)

i'm not sure if you've read this strip before, its about the baby raccoon Calvin found.

and what you get from it;
"don't you go anywhere" Calvin says.

(i'm sorry the strip is divided into nine sections, and it's may be a little tiny to read off this page. you'll probably have to click on each picture to read it. let's not strain the eyes, hey? so click. ;p)
but i'll do some succinct summation of each section, in case you just want to browse through and not wanting the trouble of clicking nine times! :)

they find a baby raccoon on the ground, barely surviving.
Calvin runs to get help from mom.
Hobbes: I sure hope she can help.
Calvin: Of course she can! You don't get to be mom if you can't fix everything just right.

mom sits with Hobbes.
Mom: I hate it when these things happen. You can tell i'm upset when i start talking to you.

they placed baby raccoon in a shoe box.
Mom: I guess all we can do is keep him warm and safe.

checking to see if baby raccoon is eating at all.
Calvin: Don't die, Little Raccoon. It wouldn't be very grateful of you to break my heart.
Hobbes: *sniff*

in bed, thinking of the raccoon.
Hobbes: I hope he lives.
Calvin: Me too.
Hobbes: I think animals are always so cute.

after finding out baby raccoon didn't survive the night.
Calvin: *sniff* i'm crying because out there he's gone, but he's not gone inside me.

at the burial ground.
Calvin: It's like i found him for no good reason. I had to say goodbye as soon as i said hello.
*sniff*
(and goes on to say) what a stupid world.

figuring out why the baby raccoon had to die.
Calvin: It's either mean or it's arbitrary, and either way i've got the heebie-jeebies.

finding out the cycle of life.
we just have to do the best we can with the knowledge we have.
Calvin: I guess that makes sense.. but don't you go anywhere.
Hobbes: Don't worry.
(hugs)

© Universal Press Syndicate

..just so you know; i'm walking away. for the sake of my sanity!

Trying not to show.

Trying real hard to think of something captivating to pen down; i stare at a blank page still. Write something interesting, a piece that would pique their attention; they offered advice.

And i wonder, how do i write something enchanting and yet doesn't sound like i'm trying too hard? It doesn't help that i think my life time achievements unfascinating, and boring. How do i turn something boring into an exciting page or two? (deep breaths)

I am aware. There is no room for doubts. All i need do, is do it. Yet, i prefer, dream it.
Nerves, i have no choice but to shake you away. Oh, and please go away will you, conscious intentional procrastination?

Trying to come up with (eight) unique pieces; and at the same time trying extremely hard not to reveal i'm severely straining my ability to write enchantingly.

Perhaps, i need to calm down and think. Write what is best for me, not try to impress. That totally gets me no where near completion of a piece.

I should go; thoughts to put together, pieces to form, sentences to create! Yayy?!

(can't wait for this to end, yet i'm denying to finish it) ahh, the paradox of me.

(Currently listening to: Officially missing you)

its safe to say, i'm officially missing you.
but this i have to, i'm walking away.

Blessed are You; Source of all Life.

when i mention about how the Jewish give thanks to God on all occasion, i wasn't exaggerating at all, not even a little.

On washing hands (during Shabbat);
Blessed are You, Source of all Life, making us holy through Your Commandments, and commanding us to cleanse our hands.
(if you know how much i love washing my hands, :) this amaze me much!)

Thanking God always;
For sweet smelling perfume, For smelling flowers, For a beautiful sight, For hearing a thunder, For seeing a rainbow :) and plenty more simple joys of living (which i constantly take for granted).

For good news;
Blessed are You, Source of all Life, being the good and doing good.

For bad news;
Blessed are You, Source of all Life, being the true judge.

(Oh, the many times we find ourselves paying a visit to the land of Why me, Lord?; before we finally come to terms with the bad news and thank Him, whatever the circumstances)

and as For hope;
Have hope in the Eternal One,
Be strong and your heart will be strengthened.
Have hope in God.
(Psalms 27:14)

I life up my eyes to the hills,
Where will my help come from?
My help comes from God,
Creator of heaven and earth.
(Psalms 121:1-2)
Ahh, if it isn't my favorite Psalm :)

This, i will cling on to. Hope in the Lord.
(i am hopeful)

..stay hopeful, you.

I was addicted to;

online shopping! once upon a time. :)

I'd spend hours browsing through two types of websites,

One within my means (i think i can afford pretty things from this site), while the other i'll be (literally) broke if i purchase anything from this site =)

But of course i wasn't that delusional to purchase anything from the site which will lead to me spending the next couple years surviving on oyster cookies and the water dispenser. Lol!

Those were good times, i ♥ online shopping as much as i adore actual shopping :)

I know i was supposed to be doing something way more productive than this, but i wanted to relieve the moment! ;)

I intentionally stumbled upon Jimmy Choo's! OMG, the craze over the Jimmy Choo for H&M Collection is intensely insane =) Wish i could join in the crazy exhilarating fun, but i'm no where near that range of means, :(

November 14th, he sent the world of H&M into greater fabulousness =)

(note: H&M is fabulous, even on its own)

The bags (exclamation mark.squared!! haha); and the shoes (i know i won't survive 2 minutes in those height, so bags it is. they were elegantly stunning!). Way gorgeous, seriously. Woahh!

Presenting the bags that agreed with my perception of immense aestheticism ;) ohsobeautiful.

(i can't think of that many adjectives to describe their beauty anymore, haha. at least not when i'm distracted by them! ;p i know i'm hopeless like this! they'll get single adjectives for now :p)

Riley Collection

elegant; it could be my everyday default bag :)

Saba/L Collection

stylish; those bangles says it all.

Sky L Collection

chic; what a pretty defining shape.

Blythe/M Collection

(interestingly) attractive; the red.

(snapshots taken from the Jimmy Choo website)

Woot! two entries in a day, i'm on a roll people. Haha! =) I should go, happy! These bags, certainly assisted in the release of endorphins! *smiles* wheeeeee.

(i'll settle for a glance of them in digital format; actual bag isn't quite within means reach ;p)

..you've been missed. i miss you.

Sudden realizations;

eats you from the inside.

I laughed when Jane Nichols exclaimed;
"Its like finding out my favorite song is written by a sandwich!"
after realizing Kevin is actually Malcolm Doyle.
(from the movie; 27 dresses)

At long last, i truly understand how truth can gobble you up from the inside out.
I think back, and see the many moments i justified a doubt, rationalized a situation; that was serious denial going on there!

Ahh, life goes on.
except its like being slapped with the fact;
Calvin's Hobbes is not a tiger but a bird! and after years of adoring Hobbes as a tiger its just not that easy to digest. :(

The truth freaking hurts.
(i wouldn't say it ugly, but i'm sure as a sandwich it hurts!)

..in need of reconciliation.

Still, in lights of the time of the year; Happy Thanksgiving :)

..it is emotionally overwhelming.nice talking to you. and as for now, knitting helps! :)

I'll pray for you, you say; but do we really?

"I'll be praying for you!"
I bet you've uttered that statement countless times; it could even be a reflex reply we blurt out whenever we converse with a fellow believer. Justify it all you want, but do we really mean what we just promised?

Prayer, is an honorable privilege. You converse with the Father, and the upside of it all (whatever is said, all in confidence :p). Plus, you tell it to the best of them all; who else needs to know but Him ehh? Yet, we take it for granted. More frequently we begin to only fervently pray when things start heading downhill; when we are in desperate need of certainty! Afterall, desperate situation calls for desperate measures, hey?

I have a mental prayer list (yes, i am obsessed with lists :p)! When you're on it, i'll pray for you whenever possible (most likely not enough, but i try). :) You'd usually make the list, when i love you so dearly i'd want the best for you! =)
*once you begin praying for someone, know that things will happen. things will change. For whenever we ask for His will be done, it may include drastic measures. keep praying.fervently.
(this i'll elaborate on another time)

The first time i left the dogs home alone overnight; i was so very worried! Worst case scenarios flooded my thoughts; didn't help that my neighbor was cleaning his shotgun (yup, you read right. his shotgun) in his garden just as we were leaving the house. I tell you, i whispered so many prayers for my kid puppies! So many. Knowing they were kindda helpless in self defense terrified me, entirely. You must know i love my puppies exceedingly! Yet, i love the people on my prayer list on a whole different level.

Shouldn't i then be praying harder for them instead, i caught myself asking.

Perhaps, knowing a human being isn't entirely helpless given most situation tends to lessen the urgency of prayer for them. I don't think the Father condone of my justification, yet i needed one to make myself feel better. (sigh)

Pray, i must sincerely. most ardently. For each and everyone on that list of mine! For His will be done. No matter what happens in the process, i ask for His will in your life. Know that i'm here, whenever you need me.

I tucked away Mark 11:24-25 for a lonng time till yesterday! Shame, it used to be a favorite. I'm glad i was reminded, Papi did the reminding in fact :) And i thank you =)

Mark 11:24-25
24 Therefore i tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

I have so much in my mind right now, but i'll leave it to the them neurons to compartmentalized them before i share it here. :)
There's more about prayer, even Jane Austen, stillness, but most of all; you.

(its going to be another all-nighter for me then! yay?!)

..take heart my dear ones.

This time's different.

The moment is in; I've delayed long enough. Plenty of excuses, mostly tomorrow will do. I could almost conclude the universe plots against me. Each time the spirit's up, the virtual world fails me. Seriously, :( Nevermind, the crazy consequences after that fatefully dreaded day. And you'd think not holding a rigid nine to five would do me better with this time management figment of my life; apparently did the exact opposite! Sigh.

Ducks in a row? I guess not yet, :( Soonish i hope. This internal battle oblivious to those on the other side.

I say; this time's different.
I say again; is it really?

I know so; take the first step of good faith is just what i need. =) The earth is merely a footstool of my Beyond Awesome Father, hey? :p

tomorrow is it? i'll see yu on the other side of the field, please stay alive alright? remember, cocktails and anti oxidants. talk soonish, =) (hug)

Cerebration; just when.

delta waves begin eluding me.
words fail to succinctly represent what's left.
sitting in the dark freaking out,
figuring why three times a charm?

you find comfort in solitude.
(if you do not even enjoy your own company to begin with; can you really blame others for not?)

Ahh, for such a day like this.

just a thought, :)

here's one for for the nerves. you'll be more than fine, i know so =)

With three puppies; come much emotional drama.

I lost plenty of sleep last night, i felt like i only took winks all through the night. Woke up to Bacon whimpering; carried him into the house, he didn't look anything like himself :'(

He was in pain. I didn't know where, but i tried to make him comfortable. It was so early in the morning, there wasn't much we could do. Whispered a couple of prayers, and just willed him to keep still. With my limited canine knowledge; i had to rely on human ones! The pain gateway theory, i figured canine may have similar pain pathways? I mean, no harm trying eh? I created some other sensations; had a much better idea where the pain was coming from.

Morning dawned; loaded him into the car and off we headed to Dr. Mohan's. Prognosis of Bacon; he fractured both his hind legs, the left hind more severely. :( Poor child, had to suffer the intense pain the whole night.

With the absence of abrasions, lacerations or any visible bones protruding out of Bacon, we concluded he was beaten intentionally with force. Here's to the artless brute, who brought upon physical pain to my child! I am watching you!
(i'm sure you'll be coming around, wanting to check out your doings, hey?)

Right this moment; i wished i had the eclectic mind of Veronica Mars. I would very much like to catch that uncultured ass for doing this to Bacon. You broke both his hind legs, you ass! (pardon my French, but neighbor i knew you did it consciously and without remorse!)

I am the cause of the sibling rivalry between Russell and Olive; i have come to accept the fact. Sunday morning; i must have looked like i went nuts trying to tear them apart. (ahh, another story, another time). But when i brought Bacon home from the vet, they seem to understand. No misbehaving, they just sat by him silently.

It was supposed to be nap when i rested my eyelids on Monday night, turned out to be a really long comatose nap. I should know better, i do not take naps after sunsets! I felt the need to catch up on lost time, but looks like i lost more time.

With three (three months old) puppies; come much drama and emotions. I still love them just as much, ♥

I have to go; plenty to do. Emails to compose, words to digest, and pain pathways to block. Till after the dreaded day, so long.

you really are doing this, aren't you? fair enough, i'll go.

Thoughts of a dreamer.

Even as a child; I imagine myself an older lady, seated by a lovely window pane facing the West. The beautiful rays streaming in. My dog slouched by the side, and is glowing with the perfect hue that is flowing through the room. I am reading a book, while sipping steaming tea. Pausing; as steam fog up my reading glass, i think back to the present.

Yes, i see my current life as past tense! With my imagination, i should have no problem persuading myself this is all make believe. But for a fact, i am living in a farm basking at my previous eventfully fulfilling life.

Perhaps, this is why i have a cottage by the farm dream i'd like to fulfill. Probably why, i am trying really hard for my life to mean something, something worth basking in.

You're probably thinking, she's such a freak by now huh?

Fun fact.
I love lists. to do lists. I have plenty. They come in different forms; physically tangible (read: post its), electronically written, but mostly mentally noted. There is even a list that reads; churn out a to do list soonish.

Here's one;
(the shorter version)

Start a book club! :)
(we'll read Austen, Picoult and the occasional Ahern)

Appreciate fermented grapes.
Learn everything there is to know about wine, ;) a wine cellar at the basement of my new home! Now, how lovely does that sound?

The American dream. I have dreams, plenty of them! Some, should be left where it belongs. as a dream.

Am experiencing slight Cognitive dissonance at the moment; please pardon my incoherent thoughts. Shall return when they are sorted out.

i wonder what goes on in that head of yours.

Break my heart for what breaks Yours.

In the midst of a sudden surge of mournfulness that has rested upon those who happened to receive one too many (sudden) death news.

Some questions are best left unanswered; who are we to attempt at these dead-ends, hey? They are meant for the esoteric, the One and Only. It'll be self-induced torture, these mind games. Encircling the torture, as the questions always lead you back to the original thought.

I entertain (more than) a couple of morbid thoughts. Brush it away, it comes right back at ya. Negativity. Pessimism. Not really in a mood to have a nice day right now. :(

(I shed a tear; but you deserve more. so much more.) I'm sorry; is all i can manage.

Be reminded; Be Still and know that I Am God. Was, and is to be.

Hosanna; in the highest.

I see the king of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes
The whole earth shakes

I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing

Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith

I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees

Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the Highest

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything i am for your kingdoms cause
As i go from nothing to eternity

Hosanna
Hosanna
Hosanna in the Highest
(Hosanna; by Brooke Fraser, Hillsong United)

The things i do;

(or would do)
for you ♥.

I'd go that extra mile just so i can catch a glimpse of you; even if its only for a split second. I do hope i'm as subtle as i think i am. :)

I'd probably agree to any favors you ask of me. Once upon a time, i was quite willing to let go of that dream i held so dearly. Successfully justifying my need to compartmentalized them into the it's just a dream segment; convinced myself it was just wishful thinking. I thought it wishful thinking, what was i even thinking?
(that's still a part of me, that needs working on. the wishful thinking part! Perhaps i really do have self-esteem issues. :S)

I'd mess up my circadian rhythm for you; and rely purely on the antioxidants of my freshly brewed green tea in the attempt to keep the lids open, just cause i felt the butterflies. I catch myself asking; Was it all worth it though?
"Not if you end up broken hearted, it is not." whispers a voice.
Nay, i didn't mean that at all! :) I know i have a Healer by my side, He'll take care of the broken hearted.
(point to note: i am not condoning the act of; go out and get my heart broken just cause i have healer by my side. Guard that precious gift from Him with your life, i'd say.)

The things i do even for my dearest puppies :)
i picked up canine poo; even hid the evidence of Russell's first kill.
just because i love them much ♥.

Make me fall in love with you, i just may lose myself again. Nay, that was just a thought. I should know better, hmm. do i really? we'll see about that ;)

Word of the wise; never say "i know how you feel" cause you don't! News flash people; you never will know how i feel. You only think you know, perhaps maybe understand a fragment of. Know that; a fragment, doesn't measure up at all.
I'm comfortable with silence, very much so. An encouraging nod, a genuine smile, a sincere hug goes a better way. *nods* Seriously, zip it before you wish you could force those words back into your mouth.

Proverbs 14:10
The heart knows its own bitterness,
and a stranger does not share its joy.

A final thought;
Hurry along. Go utter those magical words to those you care about.
Life is so much so a fleeting breath.
To you, whom i care so much about. 我爱你。
I am rendered speechless, overwhelmed by the one too many (sudden) deaths around me.
.. and i wonder, if i were to breathe my last. Would anyone miss my existence? Would my life reflect my Father's life? Would i bring glory to my Father? Will my dash be a significant one?

..don't you dare die on me. please don't, i plead with you. promise you'll take great care? loveyu!

The gifted ones.

This certainly is the most productive week i have had since Hong Kong/Macao (ilhkm'09). Apart from spending significantly less time watching reruns, dozing off, and lazing my day away; i am eating plenty and constantly holding boys down (i can explain myself, haha) :)

I have scars to prove my productive week! Haha. Boys are generally more active, hence my constantly holding boys down. Beanie and i can spend hours relating interesting observations. Each special one has a story to tell. In the next couple paragraphs; i shall dedicate a line or two for each special one who has left even the slightest impinge upon my life. Despite the very short time i had with them, they were a handful of memories :)
(having these many boys in my life, that's a first! ahh, there's no need for awkward hand holding scenarios, they are perfectly comfortable linking hands with me. Haha. :p)

The destructive one is such a cutie; a girl's gotta fall for a bad boy at least once in her life. The heart breaker kid, i call him. He aims for the flesh, and leaves you with a scar to remember him by (at least till he sees you next :p). A contagious laugh he has. With that face of his; how can i stay angry at him, even if he just activated my pain receptors and left me with a scar? =)

The one with pianist fingers; those long lanky fingers of his. Barely eats, and has a corner he calls his own. Stand by him, and he'll lace his fingers between yours. :) Talk to him, and receive a vibrant smile. (aww, it is heartwarming receiving such a genuine smile).

The extremely active one; constantly smiling-laughing and asking for hugs and lifts. Fortunately for me, he's relatively feather weight. :) Felicity. Full of energy. Keep him within sight, for he'll slip away for a bath if you're not watching.

The Taiwanese star lookalike; a much loyal fan of mine who calls me Chai Yi Ling. He's well versed with the entertainment industry, he'll have a movie star (or many stars) in mind just for you :) Apparently, he's not very consistent in his name giving except for calling me Chai Yi Ling since Monday. Hides his face whenever i look his way, seems he's shy in the midst of Yi Ling (what he calls me sometimes, haha). Ah, did i mention he wanted to marry me already? :D

Beanie's boyfriend; has a good looking face. It is no wonder, Beanie likes him! :) He knows things; it is beyond this human's (me) mind. It is amazing, the stuff he figures out. Stares at the clock, and knows exactly when his ride is to arrive. Beanie, just so you know; i approve of him :) Haha.

The basketball star in the making; excellent basketball skills. Appears passively shy, (maybe i seem too actively forward to him. this time, it's definitely my problem, haha). He'll survive great, i know so. Who wouldn't love a basketballer, eh? Haha.

(i am capable of writing a line or two for each and every child i came in contact with; but i shall stop here for the day. I wouldn't want to bore my few readers. this will be continued. my (10 month) journey begins!)

The innocence of a child is priceless! A constant reminder for the regular (boring) homosapians, like you and me; to take pleasure in the simple joys in life and be thankful for the little blessings we receive daily :) Watch them, and it'll make you yearn to pry open their heads, just to admire their unique brain function magnificently. Surely, they were wired up with equal (if not more) meticulousness by my Beyond Awesome Father. I cannot tell you how wonderfully they decipher the outside world. Perhaps, one day i may be able to obtain a slightly better idea? Do not for one second, underestimate their amazing capabilities. Some call it; sharp instincts. I call it; a gift from from the Father.

Ahh, a productive week it was for me indeed :)

I still need to get my ducks in a row, soonish. Time is really running short, i have now less than a month's time. I dread the 5th. :(

On a totally frivolous (and unrelated) note; i found la perfecto songs for my wedding. :) Who would have guessed? From the genius of an Italian composer! Coolness. :D
(When i told mami, she said to find a groom first. Lol.)

PS. The Ugly Truth finally made its way to the-small-town-mall; which so happen sits 'bout half-a-mile from my doorstep. *coolness.

you said you'll be there; perhaps you need to be there significantly. ahh, we'll see. as for now, dawn.

Once upon a time.

When i was quite abit younger; i remember being fully convinced the best and steadiest option headed towards happily ever after is non other than an arranged marriage. That was the plan. Hahaha! Laugh all you want, i was convicted alright :D. I had my reasons, you see. I thought (key word: i thought) wouldn't it be wonderful if i could skip through the whole enchilada; the dramatic release of phenylethylamine, dopamine, norepinephrine, and any other neurotransmitters triggered by the perception of falling in love, followed by the possibility of an arrhythmia whenever you see the other half, and then comes the probability of a broken heart. So, assisted by naivety and ignorance on this whole concept then, i thought the plan viable.
Great, now i sound like a cynical misanthrope who strongly rebukes the idea of love :p
(hey, a good argument always presents both sides of the story eh? :p).

Moment of realization: You find out, arranged marriage isn't the key. :( I've heard, the worst part about loving someone is seeing them love someone else. Unrequited love, eh? Powerful. Drives people insane at times; might even end up a nincompoop doing foolish gestures (and live to regret it, haha).
I sense i've been skeptical enough, time for some shiny and ever after thoughts :)

I love weddings. Really. Love it even more when my friends marry. :)
A very important man in my life told me this just the other day;
"Looking at where your life is headed for right now, you're probably not going to marry anytime soon"
(i don't have that many important man in my life, so i guess concealing his identity isn't crucial huh? go figure. Hahaha)

Fun fact:
Number 1
Did you know i wanted to get married at 21? LOL. :)
Number 2
I am in search for my Christian Jewish Italian chef with a cool last name! :)
A girl's gotta have her moment rite? In my case, a shallow idea of a dreamguy. Lol. Apparently my dreamguy is a 'lil too specific. What are the odds of me finding a Christian Jewish Italian chef lah? let alone with a cool last name. :)

Having said all these; clearly i had way more cynically skeptical thoughts than bright and shiny ones :P
I still am hopeful. I do look forward to the life after :) The wedding is nice (i hear the wedding preparations can freak you out a 'lil, haha), but the best is yet to come, isn't it?
Cheerio, to weddings! and here's another, to the life after :)
(can't wait for the two weddings of two important lovely ladies in my life! :D)

"Every woman has the exact love life she wants" (Mercer, 2005)
Mercer from the fame of "Wedding Date" (my background movie for the day)

Ahh, one last thought;
Happily Ever After; is so Once upon a time.

'nuff nonsense for the day; Pride and Prejudice with some tea and snickerdoodles anyone? :)

snickerdoodling (at first attempt) :)

all that's needed is hope, you say. keep breathing. soldier on. it'll come to you.