I now proudly call myself the (Hong Kongnese) daughter :) My partiality for this land still stands firmly and uncontested. I really really do love Hong Kong. Although I was in Macao for a week; it did not influence my love for Hong Kong. Haha.
People often wonder why i love Hong Kong while at the same time i proclaim my dislike for crowded places (and as we all know, Hong Kong is such a high density city.). Here's why :) *I can already come up with a couple of likes for this lovely city. Don't you already feel my extreme partiality towards this city? ;)
Just to reiterate my partiality point, i'll name a couple reasons right now (shall elaborate later);
1. This is a land of huge dogs :) Although Bun Bun lives in Macao, i met Balou at the peak. She's the most adorable white German Shepherd!
2. They walk, all the time. Hong Kongnese walk everywhere them legs can carry.
Solviture Ambulando. Afterall, it is solved by walking eh?
3. I love the people here muchness! =)
Alrighty, I probably should go get started with the packing before the non healthy level of panic.ness kicks in and it turns into a stuffing process (not to mention, with lots of hysteria). ;)
Talk to (myself) soon =)
Can i stay back in Hong Kong, please? I don't feel like heading home yet ahh. :'(
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Anticipating His awesomeness.
Let the journey begin ;)
I'm at the lapangan terbang antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur, waiting for my flight to the land of HUGE dogs. Wheee! I'm über anxious-excited. Almost eccentrically nervous. Haha. I kindda did not get my dose of delta waves and REM last night, as i had to work on them reports! I need my cuppa joe to keep those brain cells from failing me, lol.
I'm pretty sure all my readers know where i'm heading for eh? Since i don't really have a pool of readers, ;) nonetheless i will always have an audience of satu.saya sendiri :)
Coming right up, Hong Kong in approximately 5 hours! Woohoo. Just a couple months back, i went for a vacation in Hong Kong, imagine my joy when i got that email informing me i was selected for the CWM EAR Youth Leaders Regional Assembly and I Love Hong Kong Macau mission exploration. If there was a grin wider than a ear to ear ;) That *bigger than ear to ear grin* was plastered on my face that entire day. I was smiling myself silly the whole journey up to KL. *screamed* virtually to a friend. I had to release the joy, if not i would have suffered internal injuries for containing that much joy ;p LOL. I kindda did scream over the phone with Cia and mum as well! The carry over effect lasted quite a bit =) Needless to say, the eccentric-ness started creeping up gradually; surrealism may be the word to describe said feeling =)
I'm really looking forward to experiencing His beyond Awesomeness in the East Asia region. I pray for wisdom, the spirit of discernment, and understanding. That i may fulfill my purpose in Hong Kong. For His Reasons, i leave Malaysia with an eager heart, anticipating. ;)
PS. This may very well be the only short entry i'll ever write in my long winded blog, haha. Do enjoy it while it last. For i know, i may not be able to contain the talkativeness.
Cheerio to the Awesome Father! :) Here's another to *huge dogs* Whee. ;)
Ahh, just remembered an interesting advice from Auntie Chrisanne (who serendipitously turns out to be Brian (Ashriel Tang)'s mum); Don't go and fall in love over in Hong Kong. Hahaha! Interesting advice eh? ;)
*huge grin* =)
Take care people. Be safe. See you at the end of the month!
PS. I have with me Brian Ashriel Tang (haha, i had to write your full name. ;p), the new friend (and almost little brother, lol.) flying for the very first time out of the country (apart from London when he was 6)! Oh, and i'm the first Elaine he actually knows knows. That totally made my day ;) Seriously, for the very first time i did not feel i had the most commonnest around. =) Its going to be awesome in Hong Kong ehh? ;) I feel it in my bones. Haha.
*Here you go Brian, i mentioned you in my blog - no gurantees you'll be famous though. But its worth a shot ehh? ;)
Be a Joshua alright? Rise up and cross over. I believe you'll rise up to the occasion ;) I do not think so, but i know so =)
I'm at the lapangan terbang antarabangsa Kuala Lumpur, waiting for my flight to the land of HUGE dogs. Wheee! I'm über anxious-excited. Almost eccentrically nervous. Haha. I kindda did not get my dose of delta waves and REM last night, as i had to work on them reports! I need my cuppa joe to keep those brain cells from failing me, lol.
I'm pretty sure all my readers know where i'm heading for eh? Since i don't really have a pool of readers, ;) nonetheless i will always have an audience of satu.saya sendiri :)
Coming right up, Hong Kong in approximately 5 hours! Woohoo. Just a couple months back, i went for a vacation in Hong Kong, imagine my joy when i got that email informing me i was selected for the CWM EAR Youth Leaders Regional Assembly and I Love Hong Kong Macau mission exploration. If there was a grin wider than a ear to ear ;) That *bigger than ear to ear grin* was plastered on my face that entire day. I was smiling myself silly the whole journey up to KL. *screamed* virtually to a friend. I had to release the joy, if not i would have suffered internal injuries for containing that much joy ;p LOL. I kindda did scream over the phone with Cia and mum as well! The carry over effect lasted quite a bit =) Needless to say, the eccentric-ness started creeping up gradually; surrealism may be the word to describe said feeling =)
I'm really looking forward to experiencing His beyond Awesomeness in the East Asia region. I pray for wisdom, the spirit of discernment, and understanding. That i may fulfill my purpose in Hong Kong. For His Reasons, i leave Malaysia with an eager heart, anticipating. ;)
PS. This may very well be the only short entry i'll ever write in my long winded blog, haha. Do enjoy it while it last. For i know, i may not be able to contain the talkativeness.
Cheerio to the Awesome Father! :) Here's another to *huge dogs* Whee. ;)
Ahh, just remembered an interesting advice from Auntie Chrisanne (who serendipitously turns out to be Brian (Ashriel Tang)'s mum); Don't go and fall in love over in Hong Kong. Hahaha! Interesting advice eh? ;)
*huge grin* =)
Take care people. Be safe. See you at the end of the month!
PS. I have with me Brian Ashriel Tang (haha, i had to write your full name. ;p), the new friend (and almost little brother, lol.) flying for the very first time out of the country (apart from London when he was 6)! Oh, and i'm the first Elaine he actually knows knows. That totally made my day ;) Seriously, for the very first time i did not feel i had the most commonnest around. =) Its going to be awesome in Hong Kong ehh? ;) I feel it in my bones. Haha.
*Here you go Brian, i mentioned you in my blog - no gurantees you'll be famous though. But its worth a shot ehh? ;)
Be a Joshua alright? Rise up and cross over. I believe you'll rise up to the occasion ;) I do not think so, but i know so =)
Friday, July 10, 2009
At times; it slips through.
but He reminds.
And i begin to wonder, why do i need such constant reminding; (be it from self, or my loved one or from the Father Himself)? This is why my friend, good habits seldom last while the nasty ones stay for good. Fine, i know i shouldn't be generalizing on all kinds of habits, tapi it seems to follow this particular pattern. For when it involves my Father. It tends to slip, all the time in fact.
How many times have we been reminded that we should not worry and freak out when something didn't go as plan? and that we should always always trust in the Father? We all know we should trust in Him, its basic head knowledge as a child. Yet, when trouble really comes knocking on our door, we tend to start panicking, being dramatic, going hysterical even within moments! Only to realized at the end of the day, everything worked out well =) B.E.A.U-tifully in fact! (*We refers to elaine.tan here ;p)
If only we had the courage to pause. reflect. ponder. trust in Him. For i believe it takes much courage to not panic. not be dramatic. not go hysterical. I am ashamed to admit that i myself panic really quickly, only to later realized (this is after my bout of dramatic hysteria, mind you ;p)
Elaine Tan, what can hysteria do to make your problems go away? You're just being dramatic!
A scenario of a dramatic hysteria i had.
Here's how the story goes;
Sometime last year, i was scheduled for a standardized (i detest this test then, and still do! haha) computerized (key word. computerized test) exam one morning. The night before, i was even telling mami i do not think i can make it, but i managed to convince myself all that matters was His plans for me. Nothing else mattered, if the Father says no, its a no kan? Therefore, based on my realization and theory, i should have nothing to worry about, kan?
Little did i know, what was to happen on exam day. Haha (i can laugh now, when i think back ;p). How i wish i could have laugh then, and then just look up to Him smiling ;))
Came test day.
Woke up with several bundles of nerves! woahh. I was jittery the whole journey to the test center, haha. I was reminding myself, For His reasons, thats all that matters. I was convicted.
When i got there, first thing i noticed was "Ehh? Kenapa gelap-nya? (why so dark?)" I made my way to the testing area, only to have a lady asking me if i was here for a test. What happened seconds later was epic. LOL. Seriously, i literally went hysterical.
;) Hahaha. Poor mami had to try calming me down while still trying to figure out what happened.
The lady informed me, there was a power failure *already gasping for air at this juncture* Telling me this was the first ever power cut did not help at all. Wahhh. All those convictions i had while on the bus/train all went through the window at that moment.
You see, i had to take the test that day in order to make it for the deadlines. I knew i didn't have time to reschedule. Knowing that you normally have to book it months before hand freaked me out worst.
After they confirmed there was NO way the power was coming back that day, they sent us home. I was devastated. Almost immediately, negativity came by. Stayed for quite a bit. I was walking out, and right in the front of XXX Hotel, i burst out crying (i should also note that the trigger was mami's voice, haha.) She called. I cried so hard, telling her maybe this was God's way of saying NOO!! I'm quite sure it wasn't a pretty sight; as i could see from the corner of my eyes, two hotel employees hesitant, and contemplating if they should approach this hysterical girl. HAHAHA! Talk about being dramatically hysterical ;)
Then, mami reminded me; so did the Father later.
Needless to say, everything worked out well =) my test got rescheduled. I made it for those deadlines. Isn't He just amazing? ;) If the Father is on our side, who can be against us eh?
(waiit, my story hasn't ended yet! ;p there's a part two.)
Came rescheduled test day.
4 minutes before the test was over. *all went dark* Can you imagine that? Power failure! LOL. My four hour exam, and the power had to go off 4 minutes before i was done. Great timing, isn't it? ;)
Guess what? This time, i looked up (literally) and smiled ;)) There wasn't a bit hysteria in me. *gladness* I was rather calm (as compared to the other test takers.) The only thing i dreaded was if i had to retake the whole four hour exam again *that definitely could induce a faint ;p* Well, it had on the auto save function, nasib baik i didn't have to take it all over again ;) All was well the second time round, almost as if He was testing me to make sure i meant it this time round =)
Still, it is disturbing how easy i tend forget, and how constant i need reminding. =( But i'm truly glad He still reminds me (even after countless dramatic hysterias i've had :( am not particularly proud of this fact :S)
Note to self:
When He reminds, remember (for as long as your mind can retain). Store it in your Long Term Memory, but still keep it running in the Working Memory as well okay, Elaine Tan?
You reminded me, and we remember.
And i begin to wonder, why do i need such constant reminding; (be it from self, or my loved one or from the Father Himself)? This is why my friend, good habits seldom last while the nasty ones stay for good. Fine, i know i shouldn't be generalizing on all kinds of habits, tapi it seems to follow this particular pattern. For when it involves my Father. It tends to slip, all the time in fact.
How many times have we been reminded that we should not worry and freak out when something didn't go as plan? and that we should always always trust in the Father? We all know we should trust in Him, its basic head knowledge as a child. Yet, when trouble really comes knocking on our door, we tend to start panicking, being dramatic, going hysterical even within moments! Only to realized at the end of the day, everything worked out well =) B.E.A.U-tifully in fact! (*We refers to elaine.tan here ;p)
If only we had the courage to pause. reflect. ponder. trust in Him. For i believe it takes much courage to not panic. not be dramatic. not go hysterical. I am ashamed to admit that i myself panic really quickly, only to later realized (this is after my bout of dramatic hysteria, mind you ;p)
Elaine Tan, what can hysteria do to make your problems go away? You're just being dramatic!
A scenario of a dramatic hysteria i had.
Here's how the story goes;
Sometime last year, i was scheduled for a standardized (i detest this test then, and still do! haha) computerized (key word. computerized test) exam one morning. The night before, i was even telling mami i do not think i can make it, but i managed to convince myself all that matters was His plans for me. Nothing else mattered, if the Father says no, its a no kan? Therefore, based on my realization and theory, i should have nothing to worry about, kan?
Little did i know, what was to happen on exam day. Haha (i can laugh now, when i think back ;p). How i wish i could have laugh then, and then just look up to Him smiling ;))
Came test day.
Woke up with several bundles of nerves! woahh. I was jittery the whole journey to the test center, haha. I was reminding myself, For His reasons, thats all that matters. I was convicted.
When i got there, first thing i noticed was "Ehh? Kenapa gelap-nya? (why so dark?)" I made my way to the testing area, only to have a lady asking me if i was here for a test. What happened seconds later was epic. LOL. Seriously, i literally went hysterical.
;) Hahaha. Poor mami had to try calming me down while still trying to figure out what happened.
The lady informed me, there was a power failure *already gasping for air at this juncture* Telling me this was the first ever power cut did not help at all. Wahhh. All those convictions i had while on the bus/train all went through the window at that moment.
You see, i had to take the test that day in order to make it for the deadlines. I knew i didn't have time to reschedule. Knowing that you normally have to book it months before hand freaked me out worst.
After they confirmed there was NO way the power was coming back that day, they sent us home. I was devastated. Almost immediately, negativity came by. Stayed for quite a bit. I was walking out, and right in the front of XXX Hotel, i burst out crying (i should also note that the trigger was mami's voice, haha.) She called. I cried so hard, telling her maybe this was God's way of saying NOO!! I'm quite sure it wasn't a pretty sight; as i could see from the corner of my eyes, two hotel employees hesitant, and contemplating if they should approach this hysterical girl. HAHAHA! Talk about being dramatically hysterical ;)
Then, mami reminded me; so did the Father later.
Needless to say, everything worked out well =) my test got rescheduled. I made it for those deadlines. Isn't He just amazing? ;) If the Father is on our side, who can be against us eh?
(waiit, my story hasn't ended yet! ;p there's a part two.)
Came rescheduled test day.
4 minutes before the test was over. *all went dark* Can you imagine that? Power failure! LOL. My four hour exam, and the power had to go off 4 minutes before i was done. Great timing, isn't it? ;)
Guess what? This time, i looked up (literally) and smiled ;)) There wasn't a bit hysteria in me. *gladness* I was rather calm (as compared to the other test takers.) The only thing i dreaded was if i had to retake the whole four hour exam again *that definitely could induce a faint ;p* Well, it had on the auto save function, nasib baik i didn't have to take it all over again ;) All was well the second time round, almost as if He was testing me to make sure i meant it this time round =)
Still, it is disturbing how easy i tend forget, and how constant i need reminding. =( But i'm truly glad He still reminds me (even after countless dramatic hysterias i've had :( am not particularly proud of this fact :S)
Note to self:
When He reminds, remember (for as long as your mind can retain). Store it in your Long Term Memory, but still keep it running in the Working Memory as well okay, Elaine Tan?
You reminded me, and we remember.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
For the many times i've broken Your heart.
The feeling you get; when a truly annoying song get stuck in your head for the entire day just because some random radio station triggered them hair cells to start bending by playing it early in the morning while you're on the way to work/school. Isn't it the most annoying feeling? For Bleeding love to be blasting in your head for the whole freaking 8 hours you're trying to concentrate on the pc screen? Haha! Plenty of times, that has happened to me! If only, there was a delete song option, for my short term memory! ;)
Then, there's the feeling you get; when the words of a song pierced right through your heart, just because you know how close it represents a smack on the head, telling you to "wakeup! Its bout time you realize this already dumbass, how long are you planning to live in the closet?"
This song; have been bending them hair cells for days now.
O how many times have i broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only i ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me
Everything i need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything i need is You
(part of All For Love by Hillsong United)
How many times exactly have i broken Your heart? (i don't even dare start counting :( !) How many times have i then asked for forgiveness? (i'm not proud of the many times :( !) Exactly how many more times am i going to be breaking Your heart? (for i know this will surely happen :(( !) And the worst part; Breaking It knowingly, consciously, and selfishly knowing that You will always forgive me when i ask.
I know i'm not supposed to be comparing my broken heart with the Father's broken heart; for it is not even close to being a bit analogous! Yet, it didn't stop me from wondering how could i break His heart so many times? When i know exactly how it feels; i felt the world crumbling, literally and i couldn't see how it was possible to get out of that shit hole. *Eventually i did, and it was totally through His grace and neverending mercies. This is a whole different story which i'm not going to elaborate further right now ;))* What i am trying to portray here, an extremely vague comparison (definitely not comparable, not even a single bit!); imagine me breaking the Father's heart that many times. I mean, seriously. You thought you were going to die over a broken heart and yet, you are willing to break your Father's heart that many times?
wakeup already elaine.tan :'(
As the damage has already been done, i can only say again and again; I'm truly sorry for all the things i've done. For all those broken hearts i've caused You. I'm eternally grateful for a Father like you, and i really really do love you! :)
PS. Oh, Just in case you were wondering why them hair cells? I was making a reference to the hair cells in our ears, the one that needs to bend in order for us to process auditory information ;)
I should better get going. Heading to the lapangan terbang, will be spending the next few days with the twin sister here at Lion City, Woahh. :) Its bout time, the sisters get together for a great time! =)
I'm glad to have you, even if its only as it is.
Then, there's the feeling you get; when the words of a song pierced right through your heart, just because you know how close it represents a smack on the head, telling you to "wakeup! Its bout time you realize this already dumbass, how long are you planning to live in the closet?"
This song; have been bending them hair cells for days now.
O how many times have i broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only i ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me
Everything i need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything i need is You
(part of All For Love by Hillsong United)
How many times exactly have i broken Your heart? (i don't even dare start counting :( !) How many times have i then asked for forgiveness? (i'm not proud of the many times :( !) Exactly how many more times am i going to be breaking Your heart? (for i know this will surely happen :(( !) And the worst part; Breaking It knowingly, consciously, and selfishly knowing that You will always forgive me when i ask.
I know i'm not supposed to be comparing my broken heart with the Father's broken heart; for it is not even close to being a bit analogous! Yet, it didn't stop me from wondering how could i break His heart so many times? When i know exactly how it feels; i felt the world crumbling, literally and i couldn't see how it was possible to get out of that shit hole. *Eventually i did, and it was totally through His grace and neverending mercies. This is a whole different story which i'm not going to elaborate further right now ;))* What i am trying to portray here, an extremely vague comparison (definitely not comparable, not even a single bit!); imagine me breaking the Father's heart that many times. I mean, seriously. You thought you were going to die over a broken heart and yet, you are willing to break your Father's heart that many times?
wakeup already elaine.tan :'(
As the damage has already been done, i can only say again and again; I'm truly sorry for all the things i've done. For all those broken hearts i've caused You. I'm eternally grateful for a Father like you, and i really really do love you! :)
PS. Oh, Just in case you were wondering why them hair cells? I was making a reference to the hair cells in our ears, the one that needs to bend in order for us to process auditory information ;)
I should better get going. Heading to the lapangan terbang, will be spending the next few days with the twin sister here at Lion City, Woahh. :) Its bout time, the sisters get together for a great time! =)
I'm glad to have you, even if its only as it is.
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