Almost didn't; doesn't count.

In the before;
You almost didn't even think it possible.
You almost didn't do it.
You almost didn't apply for it.
.. just for the peace of it, you did.
It became your just for the sake of.
but that almost didn't turned out to be It.
His best path for you.

Look back and you'll come to see,
how you were (sortof) nudged in that direction,
no matter how often you shoved that idea aside when it popped up in your mind!

Weigh it now, at the after;
you'll realize why you didn't see it,
how that was It then.
just because you were distracted, in the before.

How It fits you perfectly.
Almost as if it's tailored for you.

And then,
you'll truly understand what it means
for Him to know what's best.
since we didn't know better, back then.

The path that led me to this juncture was amazingly eventful,
crucial for the preparation of my immediate future.

With that, I am going to fully embrace every second of It.

I am but, one step closer to my dream come true.
and i have my Father to thank for that.
:)

I'm in.

I can't seem to fall asleep,
even when it's almost the break of dawn.

Perhaps i'm afraid i'll wake up from this dream.
This isn't a dream now is it? :)
That moment is still vivid and its playing over and over again in my head.

That instant i found out I was going back to school again,
Knowing i'm one step closer to living the dream.
Realizing it wasn't just make believe and wishful thinking having this dream.

Couple of days back,
Cia said to me; berani mimpi.
I told her; I didn't dare to.
She knew, hence the reminder.

Before i sent the package out this morning,
I asked myself if i had the faith to give it up first.
and wait for this.

Clearly, I am still lacking in that department.
The department of faith.

This month in particular,
I have so much to say but its all dwelling up in the head.
I'll need to sort them out,
before i am able to turn them into meaningful strings of words.

Till then, i may sound incongruent. Please pardon my gibberish. :)

Above all things mentioned here;
I thank my Amazing Father,
Who has brought me thus far.
Who has sent wonderfully amazing people to remind me and hope for me.

He is indeed a God of second chances.
.. and this time, i'm hanging onto it with both hands. :p

Shades of grey.

Exactly how many are there?

Shades of grey.

It isn't just black and white,
it never was.

and never will be.

In fact,
the shades of grey multiplies.
.. as you struggle along life's journey.

(i hope i didn't sound that vague,
grey is (sortof) a euphemism for something-life)

The love of The Father.

Russell is scheduled for surgery in the morning.
An ovariohysterectomy, and i miss her already.
She has to stay the night at the clinic.
(i have to go through this process again with Bacon and Olive, i wonder if it's ever going to be easier)

Since mom spoke to the veterinarian i assumed she knew,
i bothered her with questions about the procedure,
till the point she suggested i check in with Russell.

If they had allowed human companions for the surgery and the stay overnight,
i would have.

It hurts to know she will be in pain,
and she will assume i abandoned her there. :(

As the heart aches over the arrangement,
where there were no other way around this than to wait till morning,
when i can bring Russell home.

I experienced an extremely quasi analogousness,
to the significance of today.

Today,
signifies the deed on the cross.
How much the Father loved us,
that He gave His only begotten son.
To take upon the sins of the world,
and be separated for that instant.

The hurt must have been beyond unbearable.
For there is no greater love than His love for us.
No words expressive enough to thank you,
for loving me, above all else.

I love you Father, most sincerely.