There is no telling,

how your day is going to turn out.

There will come days when you wake up feeling gloomy and crumbly as you frantically seek for the strength to drag your arse out of bed ..but these days are the ones that turned out beautifully.

And come days when you wake up feeling all bright and shiny only to be stumped hard in the noonday.

There is no telling, when our time comes.

So just in case, i need you to know that I love you. So much, favorite.

"..we all have a time, and it always comes!" - a very wise imaginary friend.

Love them and hate them.

I am vain, i know that and most people know that :D

Jane Austen once wrote;
"Vanity and pride are two different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us."

That is why i love Jane Austen; not only does she come from the 18th Century England, she writes very prettily! :) She had a good mind, really. Wrote aesthetically, and i totally adore her command of the Queen's English.

When i start my Jane Austen book club, this shall be the one of the many discussion we'll be having. Care to join me, anyone?

"Is not general incivility the very essence of love?" Jane Austen.

I'd love to have my very own Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, who doesn't ehh? :)
Having said that, we must know that before our very own Mr. Darcy charms and sweeps our feet off the ground (to the land of happily ever after :p).
He must first arrogantly declare how insanely common we look to him. And we must then detest the very sight of him.
"She's tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me." He exclaimed of her.

Which reminds me of what mom used to warn me about; how sworn enemies who despise each other's gut and can barely tolerate the sight of the other ending up marrying (and living happily ever after, :p)

Ahh, perhaps i am on the right path to my very own Mr. Darcy :)
Go make more of them enemies? Haha.
Hate them and love them, ey?

..i'll surely miss you. be safe.

Don't you ever dare go anywhere.

in the spirit of Christmas ♥;
i share the joy of Calvin and Hobbes :)

i'm not sure if you've read this strip before, its about the baby raccoon Calvin found.

and what you get from it;
"don't you go anywhere" Calvin says.

(i'm sorry the strip is divided into nine sections, and it's may be a little tiny to read off this page. you'll probably have to click on each picture to read it. let's not strain the eyes, hey? so click. ;p)
but i'll do some succinct summation of each section, in case you just want to browse through and not wanting the trouble of clicking nine times! :)

they find a baby raccoon on the ground, barely surviving.
Calvin runs to get help from mom.
Hobbes: I sure hope she can help.
Calvin: Of course she can! You don't get to be mom if you can't fix everything just right.

mom sits with Hobbes.
Mom: I hate it when these things happen. You can tell i'm upset when i start talking to you.

they placed baby raccoon in a shoe box.
Mom: I guess all we can do is keep him warm and safe.

checking to see if baby raccoon is eating at all.
Calvin: Don't die, Little Raccoon. It wouldn't be very grateful of you to break my heart.
Hobbes: *sniff*

in bed, thinking of the raccoon.
Hobbes: I hope he lives.
Calvin: Me too.
Hobbes: I think animals are always so cute.

after finding out baby raccoon didn't survive the night.
Calvin: *sniff* i'm crying because out there he's gone, but he's not gone inside me.

at the burial ground.
Calvin: It's like i found him for no good reason. I had to say goodbye as soon as i said hello.
*sniff*
(and goes on to say) what a stupid world.

figuring out why the baby raccoon had to die.
Calvin: It's either mean or it's arbitrary, and either way i've got the heebie-jeebies.

finding out the cycle of life.
we just have to do the best we can with the knowledge we have.
Calvin: I guess that makes sense.. but don't you go anywhere.
Hobbes: Don't worry.
(hugs)

© Universal Press Syndicate

..just so you know; i'm walking away. for the sake of my sanity!

I'll pray for you, you say; but do we really?

"I'll be praying for you!"
I bet you've uttered that statement countless times; it could even be a reflex reply we blurt out whenever we converse with a fellow believer. Justify it all you want, but do we really mean what we just promised?

Prayer, is an honorable privilege. You converse with the Father, and the upside of it all (whatever is said, all in confidence :p). Plus, you tell it to the best of them all; who else needs to know but Him ehh? Yet, we take it for granted. More frequently we begin to only fervently pray when things start heading downhill; when we are in desperate need of certainty! Afterall, desperate situation calls for desperate measures, hey?

I have a mental prayer list (yes, i am obsessed with lists :p)! When you're on it, i'll pray for you whenever possible (most likely not enough, but i try). :) You'd usually make the list, when i love you so dearly i'd want the best for you! =)
*once you begin praying for someone, know that things will happen. things will change. For whenever we ask for His will be done, it may include drastic measures. keep praying.fervently.
(this i'll elaborate on another time)

The first time i left the dogs home alone overnight; i was so very worried! Worst case scenarios flooded my thoughts; didn't help that my neighbor was cleaning his shotgun (yup, you read right. his shotgun) in his garden just as we were leaving the house. I tell you, i whispered so many prayers for my kid puppies! So many. Knowing they were kindda helpless in self defense terrified me, entirely. You must know i love my puppies exceedingly! Yet, i love the people on my prayer list on a whole different level.

Shouldn't i then be praying harder for them instead, i caught myself asking.

Perhaps, knowing a human being isn't entirely helpless given most situation tends to lessen the urgency of prayer for them. I don't think the Father condone of my justification, yet i needed one to make myself feel better. (sigh)

Pray, i must sincerely. most ardently. For each and everyone on that list of mine! For His will be done. No matter what happens in the process, i ask for His will in your life. Know that i'm here, whenever you need me.

I tucked away Mark 11:24-25 for a lonng time till yesterday! Shame, it used to be a favorite. I'm glad i was reminded, Papi did the reminding in fact :) And i thank you =)

Mark 11:24-25
24 Therefore i tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

I have so much in my mind right now, but i'll leave it to the them neurons to compartmentalized them before i share it here. :)
There's more about prayer, even Jane Austen, stillness, but most of all; you.

(its going to be another all-nighter for me then! yay?!)

..take heart my dear ones.

The things i do;

(or would do)
for you ♥.

I'd go that extra mile just so i can catch a glimpse of you; even if its only for a split second. I do hope i'm as subtle as i think i am. :)

I'd probably agree to any favors you ask of me. Once upon a time, i was quite willing to let go of that dream i held so dearly. Successfully justifying my need to compartmentalized them into the it's just a dream segment; convinced myself it was just wishful thinking. I thought it wishful thinking, what was i even thinking?
(that's still a part of me, that needs working on. the wishful thinking part! Perhaps i really do have self-esteem issues. :S)

I'd mess up my circadian rhythm for you; and rely purely on the antioxidants of my freshly brewed green tea in the attempt to keep the lids open, just cause i felt the butterflies. I catch myself asking; Was it all worth it though?
"Not if you end up broken hearted, it is not." whispers a voice.
Nay, i didn't mean that at all! :) I know i have a Healer by my side, He'll take care of the broken hearted.
(point to note: i am not condoning the act of; go out and get my heart broken just cause i have healer by my side. Guard that precious gift from Him with your life, i'd say.)

The things i do even for my dearest puppies :)
i picked up canine poo; even hid the evidence of Russell's first kill.
just because i love them much ♥.

Make me fall in love with you, i just may lose myself again. Nay, that was just a thought. I should know better, hmm. do i really? we'll see about that ;)

Word of the wise; never say "i know how you feel" cause you don't! News flash people; you never will know how i feel. You only think you know, perhaps maybe understand a fragment of. Know that; a fragment, doesn't measure up at all.
I'm comfortable with silence, very much so. An encouraging nod, a genuine smile, a sincere hug goes a better way. *nods* Seriously, zip it before you wish you could force those words back into your mouth.

Proverbs 14:10
The heart knows its own bitterness,
and a stranger does not share its joy.

A final thought;
Hurry along. Go utter those magical words to those you care about.
Life is so much so a fleeting breath.
To you, whom i care so much about. 我爱你。
I am rendered speechless, overwhelmed by the one too many (sudden) deaths around me.
.. and i wonder, if i were to breathe my last. Would anyone miss my existence? Would my life reflect my Father's life? Would i bring glory to my Father? Will my dash be a significant one?

..don't you dare die on me. please don't, i plead with you. promise you'll take great care? loveyu!

I wish you love ♥

(i was referring to the song) As i am currently listening to the Michael Bublé version all the days of my (present moment that is.) life! I'm pretty sure i picked up the overly emotive (more commonly known as; emo) habit from a certain someone (it was bound to happen! for it is innate to learn vicariously, is it not? external locus of control. clever. deny all blame after being infected by the emo bug. nevermind my susceptibility to be influenced by you :p). Hmm. I wouldn't say it's an attractive habit to be associated with, but what can i say? Some habits are die hard (they say); ergo i'll probably need to live with it for awhile longer
*hey, i'm not complaining! Till the people around me starts; i guess i'm fine :)

I wish you love ♥ (Michael Bublé)
I wish you bluebirds in the Spring
To give your heart a song to sing
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
A cozy fire to keep you warm
And most of all
When snowflakes fall
I wish you love
(i would upload the song along with the entry but mp3s are not an accepted format yet. and i am not that tech savvy to make it pretend as a video! ahh, i could add it into my playlist. am i attempting to pass along the emo bug now? hmm. tag. you're it.)

This is such an emo song lahh! Clearly, it didn't stop me for being so in love with it. Everything about it is so pretty! It is; soothingly melodious with sincerely beautiful words complimented with Michael Bublé amazing vocal talent, makes it all even better :) Ahh, let's not forget the emoish feeling that tags along with it. (it is a rather sad song, i mean. the lyrics)
*its just the kind of song i accept as lovely music, if you know what i mean.

(shall go drown myself to sleep in this song tonight!)
i wish you love. sincerely, i wish you well =)