It was a beautiful day :)

A wise friend once told me, you do not wake up wondering, if today is a beautiful day. Instead, you wake up proclaiming "Today shall be a beautiful day!" =) For even David proclaimed in Psalms 118:24
This is the day which the LORD has made;
We will rejoice and be glad in it.

It actually works; for i practice this proclamation and exclamation rather often :)

That wise friend; is none other than the sister i never had, my dearest Phooi Wah Khoo. I am truly thankful our path crossed here during our earthly mission; for i believe not in coincidence. You are definitely more than a friend to me, and for that i am extremely thankful to the Father ;) Phooi Wah Khoo, i miss you muchh! Love you even moree ;)

One fine Sunday morning (sometime last year), she texted me. Read Psalms 121.

Psalms 121; the words of which i hold onto dearly.
I will lift up my eyes to the hills -
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The LORD shall perserve you from all evil,
He shall preserve your soul.
The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.

From a person who totally adores sleep, takes 7 hour naps (after a tennis lesson) and then turned nocturnal for she dislikes the sunlight much; so YES this Psalm does mean much to her. A Father who watches over her and does not slumber nor sleep; a Father who shades her from the sunlight! :) Isn't that just amazing? =) Its more than any girl can ask for.

PS. I was waiting for this weekend to come; for the sisters were scheduled for a home visit. I thought, finally a Tan family reunion. Ha! Guess what? They abandoned me; literally. Headed out with their friends instead :( Dad told me, your sisters are all grown up now. I guess so eh? When Beanie said she was going out today, Cia didn't seem too happy! Tapi, she herself did the same. Ehh. Who is left to talk to the eldest sister?

It was a beautiful day, indeed.

Take care now, you. For i now know it unrealistic. :(

In transit; waiting.

Given the current economical standing of the world; people often think i'm totally insane for quitting my job without a plan for the immediate future. Even if some do not convey that message verbally, their micro-expressions says it all (hey, i gotta give credit to the field of study i love eh? ;p). Yet, there are also some who would say i'm lucky to be able to just pack up and leave. I usually just smile, and not bother elaborating further. Only some know.

In all honesty, i'm rather lost right now. I have not the slightest hint of what my immediate future holds and where it lies. This, somehow feels as if i'm in transit. A pretty long one, i might add. I envision myself waiting at the platform, for my train without the schedule. Waiting for His train for me. I do comfort myself saying; at least i'm intending to wait for this train, and not wondering around the platform searching for another plausible destination, an express train perhaps? An express train to the possibility of a dream-like Fall 2010. How wonderful, if i could skip this whole year? How great if i could now know. I would be more than delighted if i knew. Cause if i knew, i'll be able to make plans! Marvelous plans for myself. Wouldn't that just be amazing? The idea of total control over your life is always tempting.

.. then again, this is where my trust in Him steps in. Living a life of faith and faithfulness. In knowing (with conviction that is) that only He holds my future, and He's the author of my life. I'm just a character, playing out the perfect script. :) *Ahh, don't i just love the heart warming peaceful feeling that comes along with the reminder of my Awesome Father! =)*

I did what i did, cause I knew it was time to leave, it was time to take stock. Retrace my steps. Re seek direction. 'What now, Father? What next?'. If you can access the FAQ section of my life, What now? is sure to top the list, no doubts on that.

Having said all these, i pray i do not succumb to the idea of staying in transit for too long a time. Being in transit, is kindda comfortable (i must warn you). When people ask me, 'What are your plans?'; very quickly i can reply 'i'm not sure yet, i have yet to make plans!' Theoretically, i do not need to know yet. Logically, i should not know anything yet. So all is good, when in transit.

There is one thing i take comfort in, and attempt in fulfilling;
I have His plans, and i'm sticking to it no matter what.

Caught in transit may be a great thing; the waiting period isn't wasted period if it was given to God. The children of Israel were caught in transit for 40 years, and were passed up the chance to cross over. I pray i will be given a chance to cross over, and not be left behind. For with a different spirit; Joshua and Caleb, God allowed them to cross over. With that different spirit i want to be, a Joshua. To rise up and to cross over.

Joshua 1:8;
This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.

I should go. Matriculate myself. Plenty of materials to cover before i head off to the land of huge dogs :)

..you can borrow mine; for one day i may need to borrow yours.

Ahh, the smell of new tennis balls =)

I have a list of impending hobbies; and tennis has been sitting right on top of that list for some time now ;p I have been wanting to pick up that sport for the longest time, but i guess i lack much determination. You know how it is right? The all talk and no do? ;p

Lo and behold, i can finally strike that intended hobby off my list! Wooahh. Uncle Viet came along this morning, picked out a tennis racquet for me; it was a wise idea bringing him along for i would be lost amongst all those tennis jargon! Tension, 55? 11.3oz vs. 8.8oz? Hmm. (i know what they say, your first one shouldn't be expensive since i'll be meeting the ground more often than the neon ball! Haha.) But if only you knew Uncle Viet, then again i'm not complaining. The racquet is pretty ;p

I now have an exceedingly cool Wilson tennis racquet, i call my own! Wheee =) ohh, and not forgetting them new tennis balls! (do people end up sniffing tennis balls? haha. they do smell pretty good, ;p). I still don't quite know how to use it yet, and am pretty nervous since i have relatively weak arms, haha! We will soon find out how tennisly inclined i am ;p I'm as nervous as i am excited. Hahaha!

I for one, hated sweaty sports; i used to say never would i ever start running. I hated to sweat! Ergo, swimming was the only acceptable sport, and that's only because i'll be too drenched to even notice any perspiration. Haha. People do change eh? Right now, i'm proud to say, this hatred does not stand, no more. :) Point of clarification, it's not like i suddenly love sweating, its just no longer an issue to me. Lol.

I am still going for my evening runs every other day, if not daily! :) Most of the credit should go to LeeeshCIA (how are you liking your new name? although its kindda silly to have a nickname thats much longer than your name eh? hehe.). She kindda coerced me (respectfully) and i responded well. LOL.

It all started one fine evening at JP, Lion City. We made a slight detour before heading to NTUC. Haha. There, the investment of the year laid. Waiting for me. :) Presenting my Gaia™!

Columbia Gaia™
British Tan/Sunlit (with a hint of mustard yellow :p)
Spring 2009

This pair is definitely well worth the money :) and she's really pretty, isn't she?!

"Congratulations, you have a new career!" Says Uncle Viet. I sure hope this one lasts. ;)

*Cheerio to the begining of a real hobby! (impending hobby, no more :)) Woot! and a healthier lifestyle for me.
.. and here's another toast to no deteriorating mucles. Yeay me! =)

A run scheduled at 6:15pm later, with the father :) and my first tennis lesson scheduled at 7am tomorrow morning! Whhee. Waking up early, is going to be my greatest challenge. =) I do not function well in the day, for i am nocturnal. Ahh, the things i do for you, my dear Willy. Haha!

hey you, i hope you're doing great today! :)

Of lemons and banality.

You know what they always say;
When life throws a lemon at you, make lemonade

I'd say;
Just maybe, lemons are what you need at the present moment. Sour moments are there for a reason, we shouldn't always go trying hard turning these moments into sweet sweet ones. And you know those lemons will keep coming along. Ergo, just take the lemon, and suck it up for a bit. It'll pass, eventually. If you can't stop it from coming your way, might as well embrace it eh?

They also say;
When things do not go your way, take comfort in knowing that it could have been worst.

I'd say;
Think about this for a second. Do we really think when we land ourselves in a pile of shit (pardon my language here.), we'll take comfort in knowing that we could be in a worst pile of shit? Exactly, how is that going to make you feel better? And exactly how worst can a pile of shit be?

Can you also say in all certainty you'll feel less horrible if you had some bird droppings on your shirt (representing a less dramatic event) as opposed to finding yourself surrounded by droppings? I bet, you'll feel equally horrible and mad even. Cause we just don't go around pausing and wonder how horrible should i feel in this situation from a scale of 1 to 10. (10 being extremely horrible). Seriously, i honestly do not think we're that rational a being.

So No, do not take comfort in knowing that things may turn out worst. Take comfort in knowing there is Someone who cares enough to not want you losing your way in the jungle. As banal as my next statement is going to be, i personally believe it to be meaningful. And you may not agree with me much on this yet, but eventually you will; I know you will. Trust me on this.

Here goes, the oh-so-true trite we all know by head and yet brush it aside.
Every single everything happens for His reason.
(well, i kindda did amend that statement a little, but i prefer this version much better ;p)

Take comfort in that instead. For it is all that matters.

just as CS Lewis said;
There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done', and those whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done."

The Awesome One who created that; Cares so much we cannot even begin to imagine.

On an entirely different note here;
..you are everything i think of right now. i need you out, please. :(

My Father is the greatest Psychologist, ever :)

It was the Summer of 2003, when i had my first Psychology class ever. I'm about to quote Plotnik (2002) now; the definition (which i still can remember after all these years, this was the first definition i learned from my first textbook? haha.) of the field of study i love muchness :)
Psychology is a systematic and scientific study of human behaviors and mental processes.

And you can't help but look out for the word "counseling" embedded in that definition, can you? No offense to all counselors or Clinical Psychologist out there. Seriously, Psychology isn't just about being a counselor, i'm sure my Psych-major peers would agree with me on this (and its most definitely isn't just about those motivational stuff! you do find God here alright, God is everywhere, mind you!).

Along the years, i've received plenty of feedback after some figured out i took up Psychology. Heck, i didn't even get much support from my peers back then when i was still in high school. However, i knew better and soon i just gave up trying to help people understand (just like how i gave up telling people we do not live on trees back in my beloved hometown ;p).

Scene 1. Act 1.
Random dude: Oh, so you took Psychology? Are you going to be a counselor?
Me: *smiles* and just give a slight nod. (as a form of respect of the existence of random dude, and then slowly backs away.) it usually works well ;p

..and that hypothetical scene i just created is one of the plenty similar scenarios. My advice (aah, advise, does this make a counselor now? haha! i had to, but its kindda a lousy not-quite-a-pun-pun!) is to just *smile* and *smile again*. :))

Hahaha. I do sound pretty jaded today, don't i? :D Well, someone just handed me the last straw earlier, did a really good job mocking me. Pointed out i wasn't Christ-like. You may say i read too much into what she said, but trust me when i say; that is not how you convince someone to come join you. I'm really glad that you find it fulfilling helping kids and you find joy in doing so. Have you thought maybe, just maybe others have a different passion and interest?

I didn't like how she indicated, it was only according to the Christian teaching that we help these people, and.. (i was too annoyed to remember everything that was said :() Oh, and if you ask someone about their plans, and don't want to hear about it? Keep the question to yourself. Save it.

Some may know. I would very much love to go back to school, pursue my dreams (which i won't spell it out here, who knows. Someone may stumble upon my blog and begin criticizing me again?). So what if i love research? I love the brain. I love the idea of perception. Can't i? Does that make me a whole lot less a Christian? I think not.

In a matter of Psychology and me.
If you have not already realized, it may be wiser to keep those negative thoughts to yourself. If you're not happy with my dreams, suck it up! Go bother someone else. I don't care.

Here's the truth, i totally love the brain; for I believe it an amazing gift. You might not even begin to imagine how thoughtful He was when He started wiring us up. Its awesome! He thought about everything. And i literally mean every last everything ;) And i know my Father loves me much, even when i love the science and not so much the social. I pray He'll use me in the science *fingers crossed* soon! :) By the way, He created it all, and along came Psychology when He created man. =)

Hahaha. I feel much better now. Only my second entry, and i'm already complaining and ruminating? LOLL. Not a great sign ehh? ;p

Maybe its the hormonal imbalance or the age? haha, beats me. Boy, did that conversation affect me, quite a bit :p LOL! And i wanted to tell you; tapi this you sorta wasn't quite available (and i don't even know if you cares.) Sighh, i smell trouble :( and i don't think i want trouble, yet!

An attempt for a dash of significance.

At long last, i write again :) My very (second) first blog rambling!! Woott. How exciting eh? At least i am; anxious.excited for a fresh start. I have moved on from my ex-blog :)! Whhee. This blog will differ quite a bit from my previous one. For one, this one caters to an entirely disparate cause.

A poem i stumbled upon (not quite serendipitously, Rev William wrote about it ;p) just yesterday, called The Dash Poem. (Written by Linda Ellis)

It speaks of the dash, a dash that connects your date of birth with the day you go home to be with the Lord. A dash, a single horizontal line; a tiny insignificant punctuation (wait, is it even considered one?) used to signify a lifetime's worth. Made me wonder, will my dash be meaningful enough to leave a legacy? It does not have to be earth shattering, dramatic kind or anything; but then again, who are we to say a single genuine smile at a stranger (for all we know, the smile was what was needed to remind that particular stranger you care) isn't as impactful as doing a good deed.

All i yearn for, is to follow His lead.

For it is written in Proverbs 16:7
When a man's ways please the LORD,
He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.

PS. I do have a dash in my name, from wei to ling? :p As i strive to make the dash between my dates, a significant -.

Whatever shall my headstone read;

Perhaps..

Elaine Tan Wei-Ling
30th April 1985 - xxth month 20xx
A daughter.
She gave her always to her Father.

Pray. That i do, fervently.