Given the current economical standing of the world; people often think i'm totally insane for quitting my job without a plan for the immediate future. Even if some do not convey that message verbally, their micro-expressions says it all (hey, i gotta give credit to the field of study i love eh? ;p). Yet, there are also some who would say i'm lucky to be able to just pack up and leave. I usually just smile, and not bother elaborating further. Only some know.
In all honesty, i'm rather lost right now. I have not the slightest hint of what my immediate future holds and where it lies. This, somehow feels as if i'm in transit. A pretty long one, i might add. I envision myself waiting at the platform, for my train without the schedule. Waiting for His train for me. I do comfort myself saying; at least i'm intending to wait for this train, and not wondering around the platform searching for another plausible destination, an express train perhaps? An express train to the possibility of a dream-like Fall 2010. How wonderful, if i could skip this whole year? How great if i could now know. I would be more than delighted if i knew. Cause if i knew, i'll be able to make plans! Marvelous plans for myself. Wouldn't that just be amazing? The idea of total control over your life is always tempting.
.. then again, this is where my trust in Him steps in. Living a life of faith and faithfulness. In knowing (with conviction that is) that only He holds my future, and He's the author of my life. I'm just a character, playing out the perfect script. :) *Ahh, don't i just love the heart warming peaceful feeling that comes along with the reminder of my Awesome Father! =)*
I did what i did, cause I knew it was time to leave, it was time to take stock. Retrace my steps. Re seek direction. 'What now, Father? What next?'. If you can access the FAQ section of my life, What now? is sure to top the list, no doubts on that.
Having said all these, i pray i do not succumb to the idea of staying in transit for too long a time. Being in transit, is kindda comfortable (i must warn you). When people ask me, 'What are your plans?'; very quickly i can reply 'i'm not sure yet, i have yet to make plans!' Theoretically, i do not need to know yet. Logically, i should not know anything yet. So all is good, when in transit.
There is one thing i take comfort in, and attempt in fulfilling;
I have His plans, and i'm sticking to it no matter what.
Caught in transit may be a great thing; the waiting period isn't wasted period if it was given to God. The children of Israel were caught in transit for 40 years, and were passed up the chance to cross over. I pray i will be given a chance to cross over, and not be left behind. For with a different spirit; Joshua and Caleb, God allowed them to cross over. With that different spirit i want to be, a Joshua. To rise up and to cross over.
Joshua 1:8;
This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.
I should go. Matriculate myself. Plenty of materials to cover before i head off to the land of huge dogs :)
..you can borrow mine; for one day i may need to borrow yours.
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kudos to you for your faith and hope in the one who is the Author of our lives amidst such (what others would call) uncertain times! :)
ReplyDeleteI have no doubt he has great plans for you beyong your wildest imagination (and that's quite an amazing/menagagungkan mass of neural connections you have in between your ears there, Ms Tan), so keep the faith and continue to bloom where you're planted! :)