Must love dogs.

It broke my heart.
To see that many dogs roaming the vicinity of Mouth Kinabalu, Sabah.
To know i wouldn't be able to fend them all.

How do i take care of all the dogs in the world, Cia?
I hear myself ask.

The only comfort was,
they weren't holding their weight on only three limbs, neither were they abused in any way.

At least, they had compassion unlike my stupid neighbors.

I whisper a prayer as i pass each of them.

Surely i'm going to miss my puppies dearly when i leave. :(

*Dear future husband, you must love dogs.

The love of The Father.

Russell is scheduled for surgery in the morning.
An ovariohysterectomy, and i miss her already.
She has to stay the night at the clinic.
(i have to go through this process again with Bacon and Olive, i wonder if it's ever going to be easier)

Since mom spoke to the veterinarian i assumed she knew,
i bothered her with questions about the procedure,
till the point she suggested i check in with Russell.

If they had allowed human companions for the surgery and the stay overnight,
i would have.

It hurts to know she will be in pain,
and she will assume i abandoned her there. :(

As the heart aches over the arrangement,
where there were no other way around this than to wait till morning,
when i can bring Russell home.

I experienced an extremely quasi analogousness,
to the significance of today.

Today,
signifies the deed on the cross.
How much the Father loved us,
that He gave His only begotten son.
To take upon the sins of the world,
and be separated for that instant.

The hurt must have been beyond unbearable.
For there is no greater love than His love for us.
No words expressive enough to thank you,
for loving me, above all else.

I love you Father, most sincerely.

Bark not,

at your master

I will always remember that one afternoon, when i (sort of) crept up behind Russell. Not intentionally of course, she didn't hear me coming. They always did have brilliant hearing and a great sense of my approaching. Not that day though, Russell was sleeping and didn't hear me nearing.

Then, i was too close for comfort to a drowsy Russell and thus causing a reflex of consecutive barks.

Russell barked at me for the first time, ever ever.

Needless to say, i was heartbroken :( It is I, why did she bark? I asked myself for the first 15 minutes, after.

Dad said i caught her off guard! So, will an on guard bark hurt less? I doubt it.

This (the barking and stuff) may seem of little relevance in life, but it works in our earthly journey as well;
Ergo Bark not, at your Master for it'll hurt Him.. much.


***
To Mom, my most loyal blog reader :)
You're the best mom in my whole wide world! and there aren't enough words to succinctly describe how wonderfully amazing you have been. So i'll just say this, thank you mom and i love you, much! ♥
Blessed Birthday, mom! (hugs) :)

Sudden realizations;

eats you from the inside.

I laughed when Jane Nichols exclaimed;
"Its like finding out my favorite song is written by a sandwich!"
after realizing Kevin is actually Malcolm Doyle.
(from the movie; 27 dresses)

At long last, i truly understand how truth can gobble you up from the inside out.
I think back, and see the many moments i justified a doubt, rationalized a situation; that was serious denial going on there!

Ahh, life goes on.
except its like being slapped with the fact;
Calvin's Hobbes is not a tiger but a bird! and after years of adoring Hobbes as a tiger its just not that easy to digest. :(

The truth freaking hurts.
(i wouldn't say it ugly, but i'm sure as a sandwich it hurts!)

..in need of reconciliation.

Still, in lights of the time of the year; Happy Thanksgiving :)

..it is emotionally overwhelming.nice talking to you. and as for now, knitting helps! :)

With three puppies; come much emotional drama.

I lost plenty of sleep last night, i felt like i only took winks all through the night. Woke up to Bacon whimpering; carried him into the house, he didn't look anything like himself :'(

He was in pain. I didn't know where, but i tried to make him comfortable. It was so early in the morning, there wasn't much we could do. Whispered a couple of prayers, and just willed him to keep still. With my limited canine knowledge; i had to rely on human ones! The pain gateway theory, i figured canine may have similar pain pathways? I mean, no harm trying eh? I created some other sensations; had a much better idea where the pain was coming from.

Morning dawned; loaded him into the car and off we headed to Dr. Mohan's. Prognosis of Bacon; he fractured both his hind legs, the left hind more severely. :( Poor child, had to suffer the intense pain the whole night.

With the absence of abrasions, lacerations or any visible bones protruding out of Bacon, we concluded he was beaten intentionally with force. Here's to the artless brute, who brought upon physical pain to my child! I am watching you!
(i'm sure you'll be coming around, wanting to check out your doings, hey?)

Right this moment; i wished i had the eclectic mind of Veronica Mars. I would very much like to catch that uncultured ass for doing this to Bacon. You broke both his hind legs, you ass! (pardon my French, but neighbor i knew you did it consciously and without remorse!)

I am the cause of the sibling rivalry between Russell and Olive; i have come to accept the fact. Sunday morning; i must have looked like i went nuts trying to tear them apart. (ahh, another story, another time). But when i brought Bacon home from the vet, they seem to understand. No misbehaving, they just sat by him silently.

It was supposed to be nap when i rested my eyelids on Monday night, turned out to be a really long comatose nap. I should know better, i do not take naps after sunsets! I felt the need to catch up on lost time, but looks like i lost more time.

With three (three months old) puppies; come much drama and emotions. I still love them just as much, ♥

I have to go; plenty to do. Emails to compose, words to digest, and pain pathways to block. Till after the dreaded day, so long.

you really are doing this, aren't you? fair enough, i'll go.