At times; it slips through.

but He reminds.

And i begin to wonder, why do i need such constant reminding; (be it from self, or my loved one or from the Father Himself)? This is why my friend, good habits seldom last while the nasty ones stay for good. Fine, i know i shouldn't be generalizing on all kinds of habits, tapi it seems to follow this particular pattern. For when it involves my Father. It tends to slip, all the time in fact.

How many times have we been reminded that we should not worry and freak out when something didn't go as plan? and that we should always always trust in the Father? We all know we should trust in Him, its basic head knowledge as a child. Yet, when trouble really comes knocking on our door, we tend to start panicking, being dramatic, going hysterical even within moments! Only to realized at the end of the day, everything worked out well =) B.E.A.U-tifully in fact! (*We refers to elaine.tan here ;p)

If only we had the courage to pause. reflect. ponder. trust in Him. For i believe it takes much courage to not panic. not be dramatic. not go hysterical. I am ashamed to admit that i myself panic really quickly, only to later realized (this is after my bout of dramatic hysteria, mind you ;p)
Elaine Tan, what can hysteria do to make your problems go away? You're just being dramatic!

A scenario of a dramatic hysteria i had.
Here's how the story goes;
Sometime last year, i was scheduled for a standardized (i detest this test then, and still do! haha) computerized (key word. computerized test) exam one morning. The night before, i was even telling mami i do not think i can make it, but i managed to convince myself all that matters was His plans for me. Nothing else mattered, if the Father says no, its a no kan? Therefore, based on my realization and theory, i should have nothing to worry about, kan?

Little did i know, what was to happen on exam day. Haha (i can laugh now, when i think back ;p). How i wish i could have laugh then, and then just look up to Him smiling ;))

Came test day.
Woke up with several bundles of nerves! woahh. I was jittery the whole journey to the test center, haha. I was reminding myself, For His reasons, thats all that matters. I was convicted.

When i got there, first thing i noticed was "Ehh? Kenapa gelap-nya? (why so dark?)" I made my way to the testing area, only to have a lady asking me if i was here for a test. What happened seconds later was epic. LOL. Seriously, i literally went hysterical.

;) Hahaha. Poor mami had to try calming me down while still trying to figure out what happened.

The lady informed me, there was a power failure *already gasping for air at this juncture* Telling me this was the first ever power cut did not help at all. Wahhh. All those convictions i had while on the bus/train all went through the window at that moment.

You see, i had to take the test that day in order to make it for the deadlines. I knew i didn't have time to reschedule. Knowing that you normally have to book it months before hand freaked me out worst.

After they confirmed there was NO way the power was coming back that day, they sent us home. I was devastated. Almost immediately, negativity came by. Stayed for quite a bit. I was walking out, and right in the front of XXX Hotel, i burst out crying (i should also note that the trigger was mami's voice, haha.) She called. I cried so hard, telling her maybe this was God's way of saying NOO!! I'm quite sure it wasn't a pretty sight; as i could see from the corner of my eyes, two hotel employees hesitant, and contemplating if they should approach this hysterical girl. HAHAHA! Talk about being dramatically hysterical ;)

Then, mami reminded me; so did the Father later.

Needless to say, everything worked out well =) my test got rescheduled. I made it for those deadlines. Isn't He just amazing? ;) If the Father is on our side, who can be against us eh?

(waiit, my story hasn't ended yet! ;p there's a part two.)
Came rescheduled test day.
4 minutes before the test was over. *all went dark* Can you imagine that? Power failure! LOL. My four hour exam, and the power had to go off 4 minutes before i was done. Great timing, isn't it? ;)

Guess what? This time, i looked up (literally) and smiled ;)) There wasn't a bit hysteria in me. *gladness* I was rather calm (as compared to the other test takers.) The only thing i dreaded was if i had to retake the whole four hour exam again *that definitely could induce a faint ;p* Well, it had on the auto save function, nasib baik i didn't have to take it all over again ;) All was well the second time round, almost as if He was testing me to make sure i meant it this time round =)

Still, it is disturbing how easy i tend forget, and how constant i need reminding. =( But i'm truly glad He still reminds me (even after countless dramatic hysterias i've had :( am not particularly proud of this fact :S)

Note to self:
When He reminds, remember (for as long as your mind can retain). Store it in your Long Term Memory, but still keep it running in the Working Memory as well okay, Elaine Tan?

You reminded me, and we remember.