Twenty five's the magic number.

I am truly and exceedingly anxious nervous about tomorrow! Seriously, i would like very much to start the new year with a little more certainty. It is going to be my 25th year in life, and 25 years is a long time (at least in my world of perception, it is). One can achieve great things by 25, one can do manymany things in 25 years! Turning twenty five, hey? *it is going to be magical* ..really?

I look back and ponder; wondering how this year went by just like that. As much as i love making lists, i am not in the habit of churning out new year's resolutions, what is the point of having one if i don't even come close to crossing them off by the end of each year? People tend to get excited about the whole new year; new resolutions dramadrama! Its all very pretty to begin the new year with a big bang, along with all these amazing ideas and must dos without taking realism into point here.
(i certainly do not want to sound like a cynical misanthrope, oppsie :p Just a point to note; i do not oppose of having new resolutions in general, just for myself i do =))

"What are your plans for next year?" I get that, alot.
I tell myself; its okay, they're just concerned for you.
but i'm sorry, i can't say and i can't tell you just yet; i whisper to myself
because this life; it's not mine to plan. never was, never will be.
I've learned it the hard way, and am not going to fall back into the old style me.
Its not that i do not have a direction in life, i do (sort of). Just that, i no longer have anything carved on stone. In fact, i no longer do any carving.
..Dreams, i have plenty. Plans, i have virtually none.

This may probably not be the healthiest way of living, but i think its best now for me to take a step at a time. See how things turn out and march along. With baby steps, falling won't be that painful would it?

It is terrifying to not know; but i am comforted to know that He is watching over me, every single step of the way :)

So hit me with the new year resolutions, this is what you most probably will get :)
"Start a Jane Austen book club; learn to make good wine; and maybe start a poker night with the boys (or girls)? Care to join me?"

Have a pleasant new year, world :)

have a great life, you :)