Smile, you are so pretty.

It has definitely been a hectic start of the year for me! With January almost up, i still feel as if i should begin working up my Christmas spirit. How far behind am i keeping myself at? :(
And being anxious isn't helping, at all. I have accepted the fact, i now need self-convincing to wake up and face a new day (almost every single day).
Last year's today wasn't a very pleasant one, i still recall vividly :( I wouldn't want that unpleasantness to revisit me, yet i can't help but wonder if it will only come by later :(

When the spirits are down, expect to receive a lift me up from the Father :) He does that. He is really awesome with little surprises =))
(when you're so busy wallowing, who would be on the look out for those lift me up, hey? :p Hence, making the surprise even better :D)

Smiles are contagious, always. Laughter brightens the spirit. Which is why, i adore having shiny smiley happy little beings around me :) They have the most heartwarming smile to offer, and the most sincere laughter to boot =)

LJH, lights up my day :) I thank God for giving him that amazing smile, that infectious laughter, and a willingness to share it.

Thought i should share his smile :) Spread the joy around.
he actually reminds me of Calvin (of the Calvin & Hobbes fame :p)
especially when he combs his hair after his bath! =)
i adore him, much <3

..i think i need more of this, and not what you are willing to give.

Preparation.

first entry for the year; and i wanted it to be something well worth mentioning! This is why i was holding out on this, i wanted it to be significant. Before this year arrived, i couldn't say i was anticipating it with much excitement, neither can i right now. Being all set for His way does not equate actually being excited for it, does it? Or should it? Theoretically, maybe. Well, now that is the fuzzy part isn't it? (at least for me)

A girl can attempt to be ready for her uncertainty in life; yet she does not have to be excited about it! A girl can prepare herself for anything; yet it shocks the life out of her when it really comes to pass. Who actually does it correctly when preparing for the arrival of the emotion, the reaction, the actual event? It almost always turn out totally different. No matter how much time and effort you invested to train that mind to react.

Who prepares for a death? Even if they knew well ahead when was the ETA on going home. Who gets ready for the breakup when you're holding on tightly to all those excessive chemical release, being in love and all.

Oh dear, morbid thoughts. My supposed well worth mentioning thoughts. I guess, this year brought back memories of last year! And have you ever realized how tough it is to forget something you don't really want to remember? It always seem like, the harder you tried to erase it, the stronger it sticks onto you!

So there, my thoughts for the new year. My conclusion for now; one cannot truly be ready ready for something that isn't here yet. Hypothetical isn't real. It is not supposed to be, real. Perhaps, when it is here already, you can then decide to be ready for it. But before it happens, stay put.

(note: thoughts may appear to be a little confusing because maybe it is a little messed up)

On an unrelated note. For the new year, i cut my hair (real short) and found myself a new American series to be addicted to, the series called Life. I love it. He reminds me of someone i know very well. I like his sense of logic and rationale. Charming.

Shall return soon.

I'm almost there.

I have a secret :) Well, i don't think this qualifies as a secretsecret per se.
I adore Disney, i grew up with Disney movies (and only Disney characters!), my wardrobe consists of mostly Disney. While growing up, it was practically all things Disney! I love Tigger (of the fame of the pooh named Winnie) I even collect Tigger in all sizes, :) Along with my sisters, we were affectionately known as the Disney kakis.
there, the secret is out! as if it was worth any penny, this secret of mine *grin*

Oh wait, that wasn't the secret. This is;
I would make it a point to learn the words of at least one song from each Disney movie. I still can sing them for you, if you absolutely make me, haha :p

As it is the coming of a new year; along with the recent Disney song which caught my penchant Almost There (from The Princess and the frog) they both fit perfectly :) This could be my new theme song, like seriously.

(parts of the lyrics of Almost There)
But i know exactly where I'm going (maybe not quite, but it'll be good if i did)
And getting closer, closer, every day (i know i am, irregardless of whether i want it or not)

And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People down here think I'm crazy, but I don't care (suck it, people :D)
Trials and tribulations have had my share
There ain't nothing gonna stop me now cause I'm almost there.

and with all that You're bringing me through, i know that this new year is going to bring me closer to where i need be! Thank You, for not giving up on me just yet =)

A Blessed New Year, with a refreshed mind :) I'm all set, Father. Have it Your way.

..have it your way.

Twenty five's the magic number.

I am truly and exceedingly anxious nervous about tomorrow! Seriously, i would like very much to start the new year with a little more certainty. It is going to be my 25th year in life, and 25 years is a long time (at least in my world of perception, it is). One can achieve great things by 25, one can do manymany things in 25 years! Turning twenty five, hey? *it is going to be magical* ..really?

I look back and ponder; wondering how this year went by just like that. As much as i love making lists, i am not in the habit of churning out new year's resolutions, what is the point of having one if i don't even come close to crossing them off by the end of each year? People tend to get excited about the whole new year; new resolutions dramadrama! Its all very pretty to begin the new year with a big bang, along with all these amazing ideas and must dos without taking realism into point here.
(i certainly do not want to sound like a cynical misanthrope, oppsie :p Just a point to note; i do not oppose of having new resolutions in general, just for myself i do =))

"What are your plans for next year?" I get that, alot.
I tell myself; its okay, they're just concerned for you.
but i'm sorry, i can't say and i can't tell you just yet; i whisper to myself
because this life; it's not mine to plan. never was, never will be.
I've learned it the hard way, and am not going to fall back into the old style me.
Its not that i do not have a direction in life, i do (sort of). Just that, i no longer have anything carved on stone. In fact, i no longer do any carving.
..Dreams, i have plenty. Plans, i have virtually none.

This may probably not be the healthiest way of living, but i think its best now for me to take a step at a time. See how things turn out and march along. With baby steps, falling won't be that painful would it?

It is terrifying to not know; but i am comforted to know that He is watching over me, every single step of the way :)

So hit me with the new year resolutions, this is what you most probably will get :)
"Start a Jane Austen book club; learn to make good wine; and maybe start a poker night with the boys (or girls)? Care to join me?"

Have a pleasant new year, world :)

have a great life, you :)

Blessed Christmas :)

*sings* Hang a shining star upon the highest bough. And have yourself a merry little Christmas now :)

I ♥ Christmas, alot! it is my second favorite day of the year (after a certain day in April) =)

This year however, had a slightly different kindda Christmas spirit build up. I wouldn't say it was a lousy month but it definitely was an intense month for me. :S December was beyond overwhelming, much. It was pretty insane, mainly mentally. Haha! (again, oblivious to the world)

I can't say i'm glad December is almost over; yet i can't sincerely rejoice the coming of a new year! Didn't they say; a new year marks a new beginning? still, i can't help but wonder if this is a new beginning i am prepared to embrace? *hmm* (without asking why?)

Well, its Christmas! So, in lights of the spirit of giving =) I'll like to extend the invitation of a virtual hug to (almost) everyone out there! (huggg) May your Christmas season be filled with joy and gladness. Let us give thanks and be grateful for what He has brought us through and is about to bring us :)

A toast! *cheerio* to the one and only ♥ Beyond Awesome Father =)

The end of the year marks a period of reflection, thanksgiving and forgiveness! Pause.LookBack.Reflect.SeekForgiveness.Forgive.
Then; together we will soldier on, my fellow comrades! Take heart, ♥

Vietnam was exciting :) I am grateful for family vacations, it certainly brought about merry and joy =) I certainly have amazing people in my life, and i have The Father to thank for that :)

(a preview of Vietnam, i just spend four hours posting pictures on Facebook! Haha. From the selection process to captioning (almost) all the cherished captured moments :p)

It was truly a beautiful day =) along with amazing people, it made it even better ;) ♥

i wonder when will i see you again.

Love them and hate them.

I am vain, i know that and most people know that :D

Jane Austen once wrote;
"Vanity and pride are two different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us."

That is why i love Jane Austen; not only does she come from the 18th Century England, she writes very prettily! :) She had a good mind, really. Wrote aesthetically, and i totally adore her command of the Queen's English.

When i start my Jane Austen book club, this shall be the one of the many discussion we'll be having. Care to join me, anyone?

"Is not general incivility the very essence of love?" Jane Austen.

I'd love to have my very own Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, who doesn't ehh? :)
Having said that, we must know that before our very own Mr. Darcy charms and sweeps our feet off the ground (to the land of happily ever after :p).
He must first arrogantly declare how insanely common we look to him. And we must then detest the very sight of him.
"She's tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me." He exclaimed of her.

Which reminds me of what mom used to warn me about; how sworn enemies who despise each other's gut and can barely tolerate the sight of the other ending up marrying (and living happily ever after, :p)

Ahh, perhaps i am on the right path to my very own Mr. Darcy :)
Go make more of them enemies? Haha.
Hate them and love them, ey?

..i'll surely miss you. be safe.

Don't you ever dare go anywhere.

in the spirit of Christmas ♥;
i share the joy of Calvin and Hobbes :)

i'm not sure if you've read this strip before, its about the baby raccoon Calvin found.

and what you get from it;
"don't you go anywhere" Calvin says.

(i'm sorry the strip is divided into nine sections, and it's may be a little tiny to read off this page. you'll probably have to click on each picture to read it. let's not strain the eyes, hey? so click. ;p)
but i'll do some succinct summation of each section, in case you just want to browse through and not wanting the trouble of clicking nine times! :)

they find a baby raccoon on the ground, barely surviving.
Calvin runs to get help from mom.
Hobbes: I sure hope she can help.
Calvin: Of course she can! You don't get to be mom if you can't fix everything just right.

mom sits with Hobbes.
Mom: I hate it when these things happen. You can tell i'm upset when i start talking to you.

they placed baby raccoon in a shoe box.
Mom: I guess all we can do is keep him warm and safe.

checking to see if baby raccoon is eating at all.
Calvin: Don't die, Little Raccoon. It wouldn't be very grateful of you to break my heart.
Hobbes: *sniff*

in bed, thinking of the raccoon.
Hobbes: I hope he lives.
Calvin: Me too.
Hobbes: I think animals are always so cute.

after finding out baby raccoon didn't survive the night.
Calvin: *sniff* i'm crying because out there he's gone, but he's not gone inside me.

at the burial ground.
Calvin: It's like i found him for no good reason. I had to say goodbye as soon as i said hello.
*sniff*
(and goes on to say) what a stupid world.

figuring out why the baby raccoon had to die.
Calvin: It's either mean or it's arbitrary, and either way i've got the heebie-jeebies.

finding out the cycle of life.
we just have to do the best we can with the knowledge we have.
Calvin: I guess that makes sense.. but don't you go anywhere.
Hobbes: Don't worry.
(hugs)

© Universal Press Syndicate

..just so you know; i'm walking away. for the sake of my sanity!