A whole bundle of them.

A week worth of nerves.

..is definitely taking a toll on my mental health. :( Waking up at 2am, and not being able to fall back to sleep is insanely frustrating! Nerves, they come barging into my daily life, and now mess with my circadian rhythm? I can't seem to rid off them nerves.

I awake at a couple intervals throughout the night, all fidgety and restless. Anxious for answers that are due to arrive in my mailbox. This year however, i do not have the luxury of refreshing my mailbox every other minute. Thank goodness for that, i am less obsessed with empty mailboxes this year. Still, tension builds as i am not being able to stare at my empty virtual mailbox part willing for an answer, part hoping i get to live in this make believe world a little while longer. :(

I do not know what is coming my way, not even the slightest hint. :( It isn't easy, not knowing. I seek however, for the Grace to accept whatever answers that are coming my way! :) I sincerely want that for myself. Amazingly, i did just that a week ago =) I continue to hold fast onto His promises, and strength through this season.

You have no idea, how many times i wished for a fast-forward button. I wished i didn't have to go through yet another nerve wreaking season. :(

The calmness before the storm, hey?
Father, grant me the serenity and grace needed for this time of my life.

I am reminded of;

Psalms 127
1Unless the Lord builds the house,
its builders build in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

2In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat,
for He grants sleep to those He loves.

i miss vous, much.