Lord, lord.

"Why do you call me Lord?

When you won't even do what I ask."

Adapted from.
onetimeblind's Lord, lord.

Perfecto.

His timing is beyond perfect.

All that is needed of us, is to.
Wait patiently for it.
Be open to it.
Brace yourself for it.

the,
who would (ever) have thought moments.

Who would have thought,
I'd be spending the rest of my twenties back at school.
Cognitive Science. PhD. Mississippi.
its like a dream come true.

I would never have thought.

Amazing, He is indeed.

I love Him so much more, =)
He never cease to amaze me with His enchanting surprises.
♥

Closer, yet farther.

As i feel the void between us.
I long for, when i was much closer to You.

And as i attempt in reaching out again for You,
You seem even farther away.

Have i slid that much a distance?

I hate that i need constant reminder to be aware of You.
Consciously asking myself to know You are here.

Why hasn't it be a reflex already?

Shame on me.

A succinct moment.

I was never trained to be succinct with words.
I grew to love how words can convey such specific emotions and thoughts perfect for the moment.

This entry isn't about words, but how concise my present moment is about.

Many has remarked on how brave i am to embark toward my next destination in life.
Most are shocked to find out i know no one in that relatively foreign land i'm preparing to set foot on.

They see it as, i'll be all alone (thousands of) miles away from home.
I see it as, I am never alone. He has gone before me and is going with me.

I can argue that reality hasn't quite set in yet,
but i can't deny how at peace i am about this next (new) beginning i'm about to play out.
It will be a (new) beginning, literally. I have always wondered what it would be like living in a far far away land where no one knows me. Guess what? i get to find out myself :D

This moment is beyond words.
I am beyond ecstatic.
Rapturous delight, may do it justice.

Almost didn't; doesn't count.

In the before;
You almost didn't even think it possible.
You almost didn't do it.
You almost didn't apply for it.
.. just for the peace of it, you did.
It became your just for the sake of.
but that almost didn't turned out to be It.
His best path for you.

Look back and you'll come to see,
how you were (sortof) nudged in that direction,
no matter how often you shoved that idea aside when it popped up in your mind!

Weigh it now, at the after;
you'll realize why you didn't see it,
how that was It then.
just because you were distracted, in the before.

How It fits you perfectly.
Almost as if it's tailored for you.

And then,
you'll truly understand what it means
for Him to know what's best.
since we didn't know better, back then.

The path that led me to this juncture was amazingly eventful,
crucial for the preparation of my immediate future.

With that, I am going to fully embrace every second of It.

I am but, one step closer to my dream come true.
and i have my Father to thank for that.
:)

I'm in.

I can't seem to fall asleep,
even when it's almost the break of dawn.

Perhaps i'm afraid i'll wake up from this dream.
This isn't a dream now is it? :)
That moment is still vivid and its playing over and over again in my head.

That instant i found out I was going back to school again,
Knowing i'm one step closer to living the dream.
Realizing it wasn't just make believe and wishful thinking having this dream.

Couple of days back,
Cia said to me; berani mimpi.
I told her; I didn't dare to.
She knew, hence the reminder.

Before i sent the package out this morning,
I asked myself if i had the faith to give it up first.
and wait for this.

Clearly, I am still lacking in that department.
The department of faith.

This month in particular,
I have so much to say but its all dwelling up in the head.
I'll need to sort them out,
before i am able to turn them into meaningful strings of words.

Till then, i may sound incongruent. Please pardon my gibberish. :)

Above all things mentioned here;
I thank my Amazing Father,
Who has brought me thus far.
Who has sent wonderfully amazing people to remind me and hope for me.

He is indeed a God of second chances.
.. and this time, i'm hanging onto it with both hands. :p

Shades of grey.

Exactly how many are there?

Shades of grey.

It isn't just black and white,
it never was.

and never will be.

In fact,
the shades of grey multiplies.
.. as you struggle along life's journey.

(i hope i didn't sound that vague,
grey is (sortof) a euphemism for something-life)