This time, it was clearly you. I was sitting on your lap, all i did was hug you tight. I asked you questions, morbid ones as we both seemed to know. I knew you were going away again, just wasn't sure when. You looked at peace, and were still giving me your words of wisdom on death.
..I even asked you if you were excited to go home (i told you it was morbid). I asked if you could smile down on us from time to time, but it was a negatory - i wonder why, i'll find out for myself soon enough.
I couldn't remember if i said I Love You enough (or at all) while hugging you. I really wish i did. Even in my dreams, i was so afraid of the time you were going home ..again. It wasn't you this time, it was me. Waking up took you back home again.
It was Cia's 24th yesterday, and it felt like such a different day. Our first birthdays without you are coming up. Maybe that's what's making me all jittery.
I love you so much daddy.
Such a bittersweet dream....
ReplyDeleteIt was :(
ReplyDeleteAnd i woke up thinking,
"oh no! how am i going to get through this day."
It was definitely one of those days :(
(But did you know what i did after? I went to check your Plazes - but you were in London!)
Ahhhhh i see. And i'm so sorry i didn't text you my number. i couldn't find the shops to reload my mobile (Balance: 0.00) cz i'm not using those big companies like Vodafone, o2 and 3. I'm using some ciplak one called Lebara and I didn't come across the stands to buy reload...
ReplyDelete:(