My phobic reaction.

An intense irrational fear of a living organism (lizards, in my case!); they call it a phobia. I am extremely terrified of it (it shall not be name again, it does not deserve a second mention, haha!). Right, perhaps there is also some form of hatred towards it (with a true passion :p). Seriously, it has a paralyzing effect on me, Lol! The house is so full of it, and it(s) are huge! When i see it around the house, i normally greet it with a scream and the physiological changes of a flight response (most definitely not the fight response =S). I am very mindful of it(s), i know where it's regular hideouts are (but it does surprise me more than occasionally, haha!). Papi knows when i'm headed for the kitchen; cause i warn it(s) i'm coming! *knocks the refrigerator.knocks the table.kicks the cupboard door under the sink.wait 5 seconds (that is plenty of time to flee the scene, it! scram.)* Even with clear auditory signal of my arrival for it; it still manages to chase me out of the kitchen before i complete my task back there. Haha!
*just in case, you're currently confused as to what it is :p It refers to the creature i am terrified of, (she still refuses to mention it's name again, haha!)

I am not talking about it, just for the fun of it. Why would i right? For i hate it(s) with a passion. My main point was actually, phobia itself! You do not want to know how many worst case scenarios i've managed to come up with, concerning it. Even imaginary; it still get to me, real bad. Somehow i'm going attempt to draw a connection between phobia and the uncertain future.

Based on the definition of a phobia, wouldn't it be appropriate to conclude that a constant worrying (at times, fearing) for the future is indeed a phobic reaction. We've been told over and over, we're not to worry about the future. We're constantly reminded we're in His hands. You could never ask for a better hand (for there isn't one :p).

Take the gospel of Matthew, it says plenty about not worrying. :) *why aren't we convicted yet?

Matthew 6:25-33 says;
²⁵ “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? ²⁷ Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
²⁸ “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; ²⁹ and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰ Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
³¹ “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

What does worrying add to our lives anyway? Only brings about fear. An irrational (could sometimes turn pretty intense) fear for the future; even when we clearly know who holds the future. Uncertainty is scary, no doubts about that! I know it perfectly well, as all i see now is uncertainty :D I thank God for the days when no such worrying occurs; but on days when i'm down in the shithole (pardon my french), it is never easy. (a little disclaimer here!) Of course, i'm not suggesting we should just sit back and do zilch! You know, since it was written, we are not worry about anything! I would say, that is more like being indifferent. Fully trusting and relying on my beyond awesome Father shan't be confused with being indifferent.

Contrary to popular belief, i have more than lazing to do during this phase in my life :) Just thought i should make that clear, Haha. Two months from today; is a day i'm part looking forward to and part dreading. :D

*a part of me for a part of you. sleep is still eluding me, a conundrum you truly are. :(