April 29th.

Every year, today, you remind me to thank Mom.

For the 24 hour labor she had to endure for me.

Today, 26 years after, i reminded myself.

Thank you Ma, for doing it for me.

I love the both of you so very much.

All my Love,

Your eldest.

Till it heals, or will it not?

..8 months since but the heart remains broken.

15 May 2010, i was so proud of you.

There is no telling,

how your day is going to turn out.

There will come days when you wake up feeling gloomy and crumbly as you frantically seek for the strength to drag your arse out of bed ..but these days are the ones that turned out beautifully.

And come days when you wake up feeling all bright and shiny only to be stumped hard in the noonday.

There is no telling, when our time comes.

So just in case, i need you to know that I love you. So much, favorite.

"..we all have a time, and it always comes!" - a very wise imaginary friend.

Homesick.

The lyrics of this very song hit closest to the heart.

:'(

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye

And in Christ, there is no end

So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have

To see you again

To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Homesick by MercyMe.

..btw, I think i've gotten really good at masking random tears that decide to grace me oh.so.often.

Everyone.

dies ..eventually.

People often say that with age comes wisdom. I no longer buy that equation, not since I crossed path with some not-so-wise-older-people.

So, what exactly happen to us as we age?

When what they call life sets in along this earthly journey, or when we finally stop wishing to remain little people so we could still hide in our parent's shadow - what changes?

One fine day, we'll truly know that there is nothing to fear.

..It is after all part of one's life cycle.

Hope.

Hopefully one day i'll look back at this week and wonder what was wrong with me?

Ehh?

Sigh. Such a horrible week. I really feel like crawling under a rock until its safe to emerge into this world again, or maybe i could just sit in my closet.

Lousy thoughts, gloomy mood, sucky weather. Yuck.

NeedSpringBreakNOW.

If i were to run away,

would you know where to even start looking for me?

Mom.

If my heart is hurting;

i cannot even begin to imagine yours.

If i am willing to go home soon just to see him again,

you probably wouldn't mind now.

If i find myself catching my breath,

I wonder how you even breathe.

You're the strongest woman I have ever had the privilege to love.

You have taught me so much i owe you more than i could ever offer.

If i miss him this much on this day,

your heart must be breaking.

I love you so much words can never truly express.

and i know with absolute certainty, so did he.

I cannot wait to spend time with you, so very soon.

♥ David's angel.