Homesick.

The lyrics of this very song hit closest to the heart.

:'(

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye

And in Christ, there is no end

So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have

To see you again

To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Homesick by MercyMe.

..btw, I think i've gotten really good at masking random tears that decide to grace me oh.so.often.

Everyone.

dies ..eventually.

People often say that with age comes wisdom. I no longer buy that equation, not since I crossed path with some not-so-wise-older-people.

So, what exactly happen to us as we age?

When what they call life sets in along this earthly journey, or when we finally stop wishing to remain little people so we could still hide in our parent's shadow - what changes?

One fine day, we'll truly know that there is nothing to fear.

..It is after all part of one's life cycle.

Hope.

Hopefully one day i'll look back at this week and wonder what was wrong with me?

Ehh?

Sigh. Such a horrible week. I really feel like crawling under a rock until its safe to emerge into this world again, or maybe i could just sit in my closet.

Lousy thoughts, gloomy mood, sucky weather. Yuck.

NeedSpringBreakNOW.

If i were to run away,

would you know where to even start looking for me?

Mom.

If my heart is hurting;

i cannot even begin to imagine yours.

If i am willing to go home soon just to see him again,

you probably wouldn't mind now.

If i find myself catching my breath,

I wonder how you even breathe.

You're the strongest woman I have ever had the privilege to love.

You have taught me so much i owe you more than i could ever offer.

If i miss him this much on this day,

your heart must be breaking.

I love you so much words can never truly express.

and i know with absolute certainty, so did he.

I cannot wait to spend time with you, so very soon.

♥ David's angel.

Six months.

How did we survive six months without you?

Where did all that strength come from, i sit down and wonder.

Definitely not our own, i know for sure.

Take us through many more six months, Father.

Burden lifted.

I woke up this morning thinking it was just going to be another regular day.

Never did i imagine this day would ever happen (in my lifetime), let alone it being today.

Such liberation, i felt today.

It was an amazing day :D Truly.

I thank God for sending marvelous people and placing them strategically around me.

For moms who would give me a timely well-deserved bout of scolding.

For precious ones who would say "I told you so" right to my face.

For wonderful colleagues who wouldn't let me make the same mistakes as they did.

Mississippi is indeed where i was placed for a purpose.

Strength.

..i'm not sure if i still have the strength to hope with you.

because it feels like papi all over again.

The heart is heavy, so are the words.

Forming syllabus and attempting to string them into a prayer, feels so mechanical.

I honestly do not know how else to pray but cry out to You.

This is all i have left to offer,

..my sincerest tears from a broken heart.